tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39429350068584131842024-03-12T19:13:31.373-07:00Life After... Someone Else's Buns Were in My Oven!!Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.comBlogger95125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-20412895515261660272014-08-13T17:40:00.000-07:002014-08-13T17:40:32.291-07:00Acute Abdominal Compartment Syndrome: What Happened to Our Child?<h2 class="header Heading3" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #596166; font-family: 'Museo Slab 500', serif; font-size: 21px; font-weight: 500; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
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<i>8 weeks after we came so close to suddenly losing our 6 year old son, Jackson, my family and I are just as confused as the day we sat in the hospital pediatric surgical waiting room, praying to God to protect our dying son. The reality that no doctor or specialist has a definite diagnosis for us scares and frustrates us more and more every day. What can be done that hasn't been done? Will this happen again? Can we guarantee this was a one time ordeal? WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR CHILD?? </i><br />
<i><br /></i><i>It is our dream to get answers, so I am seeking any advice and/or knowledge from the public. Perhaps this reaches that one specific person who has seen this rare case and can answer our prayers, giving us more insight as to how and why this happened. However, the likelihood of that happening is so slim. As a very paranoid mother, I can only keep the faith that this case will not close undiagnosed.</i><br />
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This past Father's Day was a day I will never forget. June 15, 2014 will forever haunt me and my husband. The days and hours leading up to our emergency may or may not be relevant, but here is the sequence of events:<br />
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<u><br /></u><u>Thursday, June 12th:</u> First Grade Field Trip to the Tide Pools at Lincoln Park in West Seattle<br />
<ul>
<li>Kids were chaperoned into small groups with parent chaperones</li>
<li>No one directing the children; freedom to roam and touch</li>
<li>Based on some parents feedback and Jackson's knowledge, the children saw and touched the following: clams, algae, star fish (dead and alive), sea urchins, sea anemones, crabs (dead and alive)</li>
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<u>Friday, June 13th:</u> Sporadic Stomach Pains Begin<br />
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<li>Jackson is picked up from school at 2:00pm and occasional complaints of stomach pains begin and continue throughout the day</li>
<li>Appetite beginning to slow down</li>
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<u><br /></u><u>Saturday, June 14th:</u> Stomach Pain, Nausea, Vomiting, Loss of Appetite<br />
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<li>Jackson woke up feeling a little off; he did not want breakfast</li>
<li>Jackson threw up in the morning after having a cup of orange juice</li>
<li>He felt better by swimming lesson time at 10 am</li>
<li>During his swim lesson, husband and I noticed bloating in his belly and even made mention of it to each other</li>
<li>Throughout his 30 minute lesson, Jackson was not performing up to his ability</li>
<li>As soon as it was over, Jackson ran to the bathroom with the sudden urge to vomit: nothing was able to come out and he soon felt a bit better</li>
<li>For the remainder of the day, sporadic stomach pains continued, slightly worsening, but overall feeling and acting normally</li>
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<u>Sunday, June 15th:</u> Father's Day, Emergency Surgery Day</div>
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<ul>
<li>Jackson woke up, acting well: he ate a good breakfast</li>
<li>11am: We headed to Acme Bowl as a family (30 mins away)</li>
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- Jackson complained that his "belly REALLY hurt" and he chose not to eat with us</div>
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- He wanted to continue bowling, and did so with a big smile on his face</div>
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<li>1pm: Headed back home where Jackson started screaming out, crying, that his belly really hurt</li>
<li>2pm: Jackson lays down with his dad for a couple hours to rest</li>
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<li>4pm: Jackson goes from bad to worse. I have never seen him in so much pain before. He was screaming out, body completely straight saying he could not sit up or move. He was yelling at us that he needed to throw up and poop, but every time we went to go to help him up, the pain worsened. We took a look at his abdomen: we've never seen it so large and bloated before. We immediately react. This was serious.</li>
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<li>Dad takes Jackson to the nearest Urgent Care/Emergency Room while I arrange child care for my younger 2.</li>
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<li>Jackson is seen right away. They immediately call in for an ambulance to transfer him to the nearest children's hospital (30 minutes away). While they waited for transportation, an X-ray was performed.</li>
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<li>5:30pm: Ambulance transports Jackson with dad by his side. He is in so much pain, he goes into shock, so morphine was given. </li>
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<ul>
<li>I arrive at Mary Bridge Children's Hospital shortly after Jackson. His pain was unbearable. One minute he would be passed out, the next he would be screaming out in pain, not knowing what to do with himself. </li>
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<li>7:15pm: The ER doctor calls in the pediatric surgeon, Dr. Escobar. At this point, we have no idea what was going on. Jackson was getting a second IV line, tube down his nose to release air, anal exam… all at the same time.</li>
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<li>7:30pm: We are told Jackson has Acute Abdominal Compartment Syndrome and the X-rays showed his colon was distended. His skin was mottling, which was a sign his circulatory system was beginning to shut down. The surgeon gave us 2 guarantees: one, Jackson will have an incision from the top of his abdomen all the way below his belly button, and two, that he will need to stay open for at least a few days until the swelling would go down and they could go back in and close him up. By the appearance of his X-ray, the surgeon was not entirely hopeful that he could save his colon; we had to be prepared for him to remove it. Jackson needed surgery right away. There was no time to waste, not even time to perform a CT scan… we were about to lose our son.</li>
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<li>8:00pm: Jackson is back in surgery. </li>
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<i>I cannot describe to you the pain me and my husband, Cameron, felt during all of this. Seeing our first born son, who has been incredibly healthy throughout his entire life, in a hospital bed dying was a complete nightmare. NEVER have we experienced so much shock and heartache in our entire lives. Sitting there, waiting for news, ANY kind of news from any nurse or doctor, was the longest and most horrific hours you can ever imagine. Things could go either way and imagining the worst, imagining what was expected, was unbearable. Jackson is such an amazing child: such a warm hearted soul. I would have traded places with him in a heartbeat. All we could do was wait and pray…</i></div>
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<ul>
<li>10:30pm: Surgery is complete. Dr. Escobar comes in with a smile, "I closed him." </li>
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<u>Details of the surgery:</u><br />
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<ul>
<li>As soon as Jackson went under, his body released a horrible smelling, toxic gas.</li>
<li>When the catheter was inserted, no fluids drained.</li>
<li>Because his body voluntary released some gases, the surgeon was able to make the incision smaller than planned. </li>
<li>As soon as they opened him up, his colon literally popped out.</li>
<li>Acute Colonic Pseudoobstruction is what they determined with his colon. It was filled with this toxic gas and the only way it was releasing this gas was if the doctors manually compressed it out. </li>
<li>Retention of Urine: his bladder appeared like an "80 year old man's"; stretched out, weak, retaining a large amount of fluid. The only way the bladder would drain was when the doctor, once again, compressed it out.</li>
<li>There were no signs of trauma; nothing else appeared wrong. </li>
<li>After his bladder and colon were compressed, it was like a miracle… his abdomen began to flatten and THEY WERE ABLE TO CLOSE HIM!!!</li>
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Jackson remained sedated and intubated for the next 2 days. At first, it appeared that his involuntary muscles weren't wanting to perform as expected. We had many doctors on his case and they first wanted to rule out anything neurological. An EMG was performed during the 2nd day of sedation and he passed that, along with all other neurological testing. </div>
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Routine bloodwork and labs continued coming back normal. </div>
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48 hours after surgery, Jackson was extubated. No concerns there. </div>
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Day 3 and 4, Jackson shocked the doctors with his progress. He was up walking, talking, eating. Overall, he was doing amazingly well!! Never in a million years did any of us, especially doctors, think he was supposed to recover like this. But, test after test, evaluation after evaluation, we continued to hear, "I've never seen something quite like this. I'm stumped." As they continued to rule out possible diagnoses, the likelihood of knowing what and why this happened seemed to be slipping away.</div>
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<u>Friday, June 20th:</u> Jackson is Discharged- Possible New Lead</div>
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On the 5th day, Jackson was doing so well, he was getting discharged!! From day one we believed we were going to stay anywhere from 2 weeks to maybe even months, so this was an absolute miracle. Just 20 minutes from walking out of that hospital room, a new face came in with some interesting news…<br />
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Another pediatric surgeon, Dr. Pohlson, had been graciously working on Jackson's case. Like many of the doctors and specialists, the field trip taken to the tide pools just 24 hours prior to Jackson's first symptoms was constantly in the back of their minds. And, as more time went on, what happened to Jackson appeared to be more of an exposure than a disease or syndrome.<br />
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After reporting the details of the events, Dr. Pohlson took the case nationwide and soon there was an urge to isolate Lincoln Park and perform necessary testing. We were now questioning whether or not Jackson could have had some sort of PSP (Paralytic Shellfish Poisoning) or something of the sort. Could this have been a anticholinergic reaction from a toxin in the waters?<br />
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Immediately, Dr. Pohlson contacted the emergency line of the Department of Health of Seattle. She spoke directly to the epidemiologist in charge and expressed her concerns. We held onto hope that the department would take our son's case serious and perform testing, not only for us to get some answers, but to possibly save the life of another innocent child. Toxins don't live forever; 2 weeks at max. So, yes, time was of the essence.<br />
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As Jackson improved day by day at home, there was no isolation of the beach; no testing was performed. Soon, the 2 weeks were up and the Department of Health continued to neglect the concerns of a professional. We will forever be frustrated with the way things were handled. We thank Dr. Pohlson for putting so much time and effort into urging the DOH to act, but she could only do so much.<br />
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We continued taking care of our son and continued with routine testing.<br />
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2 weeks after Jackson was discharged, he had an Upper GI and a Lower Contrast Study performed. We got the results almost immediately; Jackson looked PERFECT!! No one could believe it. His colon was performing amazingly well and there was not a single sign that something was off. For his body to go through so much trauma just 2 weeks prior, it is just a miracle how good he looked after the GI tests. And, because of that, the planned colonoscopy and colon biopsy were cancelled! What a relief.<br />
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As of today, we are being followed clinically by his surgeon, Dr. Escobar, and his gastroenterologist, Dr. Pickens. 8 weeks later, Dr. Pickens believes this is one of two things: Ogilvie's Syndrome (which is appearing less and less likely as the weeks pass and Jackson shows no problems) or a toxin ingested from the tide pools. Dr. Escobar can't diagnose him 100% without the actual proof, but he believes they have exhausted all other explanations, so it is very safe to assume it is a toxin.<br />
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<i>Frustrated. Scared.</i><br />
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That is exactly how Cameron and I feel. Every day that passes we hold on to the hope that one day someone will tell us exactly why this happened. I cannot accept the fact that we may end up "assuming" the cause. How are we supposed to live our lives normally, believing that this could very well happen again? We are so scarred from this traumatic experience and having a clear cut solution would ease so much pain.<br />
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If at all you have any insight please do not hesitate to comment or email. And, please, consider passing this along to anyone that may be able to help. Thank you in advance… this kid of ours deserves the world and more!!<br />
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And, finally, we have to thank this man. Dr. Escobar, without you, we very well could have lost our son. You found a way into our hearts from the moment we met you and we will always be thankful for God putting you into Jackson's care. There is not a day that goes by where I don't wish I could give you a big hug and just thank you over and over again for saving Jackson. I know you were just doing your job, but to our family, you are our hero. </div>
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Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-34085369835552717162013-05-27T09:44:00.001-07:002013-05-27T09:44:48.945-07:00Introducing....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We are absolutely in love with our little guy. I will have a birth story and some more photos to share in the next coming days. Mommy and baby are doing perfect!!!Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-49107979374525212322013-04-21T10:27:00.000-07:002013-04-21T10:27:35.697-07:00BIG Changes...It has been about a month since I lasted posted, but I'm still pregnant!!!! I am approaching 35 weeks and I can't believe the baby will be here in a month! It's crazy how quickly things seem to be moving now. It has been a very long journey to get to this point, and I feel so blessed that I will finally have my 3rd and final baby in my arms soon.<br />
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Health wise, we are doing great. The baby is doing perfectly and staying very comfy in there. Oh, and we still don't know what the sex is!!!! I swear I think something different every day, but it's not driving me crazy yet. I think this not knowing thing is so much fun! Boy or girl, we are just going to be so surprised!!!<br />
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Here is me last week...<br />
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Onto non baby related news, we are moving out of the state shortly after baby is born. Hubby got an amazing job opportunity that he could just not pass up. This was all so unexpected (talk about horrible timing), but in the end, we are all so very excited about this new journey of ours. I have a very stressful couple months ahead of me, seeing as the husband had to move up there without us last week =(. That was the hardest goodbye ever!! We will not see him for 4 full weeks, but so far I am managing just fine. My boys are being amazingly good and helping me out so much. And yes, I am doing this all on my own, no other family member to help me out. Shoot, I carried triplets for 32 weeks... I can do anything!!! Hahahaha!!!</div>
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Then, the plan is for daddy to come back 6 days before our scheduled c-section and spend 3 full weeks with us. He then will head back to work, and all of us will follow a week after. So, I will be doing lots with a 3 week old!!! I don't know how I will do it, but I will. Cameron is working for an amazing company (a dream in his line of profession) and they are being so helpful through all of this. I was promised that I wouldn't have to touch a single box... in our old or new house. So, all I need to do is hop on a nonstop flight (by myself, still recovering from a c-section) with a 5, 4, and 3 week old. I'll let you know how that goes!!!</div>
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Our biggest challenge now is keeping this baby in so daddy does not miss the delivery. I know anything can happen at anytime, but I just pray this baby waits until the 39th week. I just have to do lots of resting (is that possible in my situation?). I have faith that everything will work out just fine. </div>
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Our nursery is complete. Yup, baby gets to have just a couple weeks in there before we pack up everything to move. But, it's perfect!! I'll get some pics of it soon to show off to you all.</div>
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<br />Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-4076764744297630492013-03-27T19:41:00.001-07:002013-03-27T19:41:24.745-07:00Our 3D Ultrasound and Maternity Pics...<br />
As we get closer to the big day, exciting stuff is happening. We turned 31 weeks yesterday, and we have 8 more weeks until delivery day!! We are in the final stretch and I can officially start panicking =).<br />
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We had our elective 3D ultrasound on my birthday this past Friday. We only got the 10 minute package, so we hoped this little person showed his/her face well in that time. Although they were squished against the placenta and we didn't get the clearest shots, we still got some very cute images. We think this is a very happy baby because he/she smiled throughout the whole thing (or it was the lunch I ate!!). We avoided scanning the whole crotch area, so the sex is still a surprise. I was thinking that I would be able to tell whether the face looked more boyish or girlish, but to me, it just looks like a baby!!! Here are 2 of our favorite photos...<br />
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We also had our 30 week appointment earlier in the day and everything is going perfectly still. My weight is staying very well controlled (go me!!) and I have absolutely no swelling. I'm actually still wearing my wedding ring!! With all of my past pregnancies, that thing came off at 5 months! We are measuring a week ahead, but expected seeing as we have bigger babies. Any guess on the weight yet?? Lets see... Jackson was born at 40 weeks, 10.3 pounds. Max was born at 38 weeks, 8.7 pounds. And this one will be born at 39 weeks, so I think we will have at least a 9 pounder. I will be shocked if he/she is any less then that. We go back to the doctor again next week.<br />
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Over the weekend, Cameron had the honor of taking over as the professional photographer and took my maternity photos. I really wanted to have a nice shoot with the boys. Dang, my kids are the worst when cooperating for photos. I never take the time to get really nice shots of them because they hate it!!! But, with a little bribery, we managed to get some good ones. Cameron did a great job!!!<br />
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That's all for now, but I will definitely keep the updates coming as things get closer!!<br />
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Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-18721279294701774642013-03-12T13:42:00.001-07:002013-03-12T13:42:25.352-07:0029 Week Update!!!!<br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Welcome to the 3rd trimester!! I can't believe we only have 10 more weeks to go until the baby arrives. It really hit us last week that we are in the final stretch and time is going by so fast. It's hard to imagine life with a baby again, but he/she will be here before we know it. I have mixed emotions about this pregnancy nearing it's end; on one hand, I am so eager to find out what is brewing inside and can't wait for this baby making machine to be retired for forever. But, on the other hand, it is very sad to think that these are my last weeks of being pregnant ever again. Even with all the aches and pains, exhaustion and tiredness, I am trying my best to enjoy every moment because I know there will be times in the future that I will miss being pregnant. But, yes, hubby and I have come to a very mutual decision that a tubal ligation is best. Not only do we feel that our family will be complete once this one is born (no matter what the sex is), but my body needs to retire. Having 6 babies in just 5 1/2 years is enough for anyone!!</span><br />
<br style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">I had my 28 week check-up last week and everything went great. Baby is doing as he/she should and mommy is doing fantastic!! A little too fantastic according to Dr. Y! I guess he thinks I am trying a little too hard to have that perfect 9 months, so he thinks I should slow it down a bit before it all hits me all at once. It's not like I am running a marathon every weekend or anything, but I will make it a point to put my feet up more often and not worry so much about bleaching every corner of the house on a weekly basis =). After having triplets, I think being pregnant with one baby is a piece of cake!!</span><br /><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Our delivery date is scheduled for the 3rd week of May (I'll keep the date to myself due to </span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">privacy issues), but I am so happy to have a final countdown. I will be having another repeat c-section and I am praying things go a little better then last time. My boys are so excited to be in the waiting room, waiting for daddy to come out with the big news. Cameron is planning on whispering what the baby is in their ears and they will yell it out to all of our family! Too exciting!!! </span></span><br /><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Other then that, no other news. My doctor appointments are now every 2 weeks, so it should make this time go by a little faster. Can't forget the belly shot... this was last week and my belly has gotten HUGE!!! It seems very high to me too...</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Trebuchet MS, Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-83886926625003200682013-02-12T15:30:00.001-08:002013-02-12T15:32:51.044-08:0025 Weeks!!!<br />
Wow, I guess it HAS been 5 weeks since I last blogged, but at least I do come back eventually!! Things have been going well with me, just staying busy with day to day life.<br />
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Today, I am 25 weeks!!! We only have 14 more weeks to go. I can't believe that!! Getting somewhat anxious, but I'm really hoping this baby stays on schedule and doesn't make an early arrival. I had an appointment last week and everything is just perfect. We definitely have an active one because every time the doctor tries to get a heart rate, he/she loves to put on a show and not hold still!! But, that heart rate is holding strong at 158bpm. <br />
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I am really starting to feel pregnant and uncomfortable. My energy levels are down and some days it's hard to just get going. I can definitely feel that 3rd trimester creep up on me.<br />
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The boys are being such great helpers and make sure mommy drinks tons of water and eat lots for their baby. They both are still convinced this is a girl, so we are trying to prepare them for the possibility of another boy. They think it's as easy as ordering from the drive-thru and don't quite understand why we would have another boy when I already have had 2!!<br />
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The nursery is coming along and just about finished. I'll have to post pics when all is complete. We aren't having a shower this time around, so we have gradually been buying lots of baby things. We haven't had a baby for 4 years, so we needed a lot!!! I think by next month, we will be complete and ready.<br />
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Anyway, I don't have much else for you. We don't have another appointment for a few more weeks and then after that I will be going more frequently.<br />
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Here is my 24 week belly picture...<br />
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<br />Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-60385414014522682132013-01-13T10:44:00.000-08:002013-01-13T10:44:35.780-08:0020 Week Update<span style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">This past week we turned 20 weeks... officially the halfway mark!! It feels good to say that I am 5 months pregnant. Only about 4 more to go. </span><br />
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We had our big appointment on Friday. Before meeting with the doctor, we had our anatomy ultrasound, where they measuring every bone and feature of the baby, as well as my uterus and placenta, to make sure everything is going well. Cameron and I knew how hard it was going to be to get through this 30 minute ultrasound, seeing as we don't want to know the sex. After being pregnant with 2 boys and 3 girls, we definitely know what to look for!! As soon as we got in the room, we gave the tech our "orders", trying not to seem controlling. And so, we sat and faced the opposite way of the ultrasound screen, talking about whatever so that the time passed and we didn't have the urge to peek. The hardest thing was the fact that the tech knew the sex of the baby from the very beginning; she just wanted to get that out of the way. We kept reminding her to say "the baby", and not "he" or "she". All went perfectly and there was no slip up. </div>
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So that we have some gender reveal ultrasound pics to put in the baby's book after he/she is born, we had the tech wrap up a couple photos and tightly seal it in this envelope. Because I am the type to secretly open and rewrap Christmas presents that are for me (just like my mommy =), Cameron COULD NOT leave this anywhere near me for the next 19 weeks. He took it to work and hopefully he doesn't give into the temptation. I'm sure you all want to take a tour of the Pepsi lab now, don't you??</div>
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At the end of the ultrasound, we got to see the baby's face and beating heart. Still holding very strong at 148bpm. Whoever is in there is sooooo active!! He/she was non-stop kicking and punching for the entire ultrasound. We got some cute ultrasound photos to take with us. We can't wait for our 3D/4D ultrasound in a couple months... I wonder who he/she will look like!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZu_kuvDf5noF7gurShHyIb4ZOotseu8fe-EPQSHeYskqnMZSnV7p6cNa2uk-LexbBbzguGRbU46W-mBYqPjSpT39vfKkOVsBgErGkNfGT-dSBL0a4_k60S0PwtrsbhUimKASIguEGbko/s1600/photo-1+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZu_kuvDf5noF7gurShHyIb4ZOotseu8fe-EPQSHeYskqnMZSnV7p6cNa2uk-LexbBbzguGRbU46W-mBYqPjSpT39vfKkOVsBgErGkNfGT-dSBL0a4_k60S0PwtrsbhUimKASIguEGbko/s400/photo-1+3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">We then saw the doctor and he gave us our perfect report on baby. A little too perfect; our chunker is measuring 10 days ahead of schedule... weighing in at 15 ounces!!!! The doctor said he wouldn't be surprised if I went into labor a couple weeks early and that would be just fine seeing as she/he is growing ahead. Other then that, everything is great physically. If we happen not to go into labor before, we scheduled our c-section for Thursday, May 23rd.</span></div>
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<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">Here is my 20 week belly shot... yes, I GREW!!!!! But, I have to say that it is all going to my belly (maybe my butt grew too!!!) and I am doing more then great with my weight gain... only up 10 pounds. I don't think I could ever say I've been that good in the past. Go me!!!!!</span></div>
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<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"> And just for fun, here is my progression so far!!! </span></div>
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Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-40541469583149256762012-12-18T14:10:00.000-08:002012-12-18T14:10:50.017-08:0017 Week UpdateWow!!! Can you believe I am almost half way through my pregnancy?? I sure can't! The weeks seem to be flying by. I am trying to thoroughly enjoy every detail of it, seeing as it is my last, but the baby will already be here in about 5 months!<br />
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Well, now that I am well into my 2nd trimester, I can report that my 1st trimester couldn't have been better. I rarely had any morning sickness and I just felt great. Some days I wished I would have just thrown up so that I would feel more pregnant and not think something was wrong inside, but everything is perfect.<br />
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Last week at my 16 week check-up, I was very nervous before seeing the doctor. I know things were good at my 12 week appointment, but I just was still very paranoid, day after day. I knew once getting to 16 weeks with a healthy report is when I could finally stop worrying and start enjoying it. Well, we finally were able to hear that beautiful heartbeat. In the past, the doppler couldn't pick it up, so we had to view it on ultrasound, but last week the doctor found it right away.... 150bpm!!! <br />
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The most exciting thing that day.... only 1 pound weight gain since last appointment!!! Yay!!!!! A dancing party of 1 was definitely going down in the office hallway. The nurse thought I was insane =). Hello!!! She doesn't know what that means in my mind... PIG OUT for the holidays!!!! <br />
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No ultrasound was done and I'll take that as a relief. Since we STILL aren't finding out the sex, I know I would have been way too tempted to peak. But, our big 20 week anatomy scan is coming up in a few weeks and I just have to get through that one. It will be hard, but hubby and I are still holding strong.<br />
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Also, the doctor said that at next visit we may be able to schedule our c-section already!! Wow, that's exciting!! I am due on May 28th and will be allowed to deliver a week before, so we kind of get to choose our day. May 23rd is the day we experienced our first, and most heart wrenching, miscarriage. I would love nothing more than to deliver our little miracle on this day ♥<br />
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Here is another belly shot. Yes, we are cheesy =)<br />
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<br />Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-32982356888239361502012-11-14T14:30:00.000-08:002012-11-14T14:30:50.913-08:0012 Week UpdateWell, the past few weeks were almost unbearable. There wasn't a day that went by where I felt safe. Every time I went to the bathroom I prepared myself for the worst. I was very paranoid to say the least.<br />
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My upcoming appointment couldn't have been here soon enough. We had a check up on Monday, just one day shy of 12 weeks. When the doctor began to pick up the heartbeat on the doppler, my heart sank.... nothing. He kept searching and searching. The minutes seemed like hours and he tried to comfort me by saying 12 weeks isn't a guarantee that the doppler can pick up anything. So, we headed back for a quick ultrasound.<br />
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As I stepped up to the bed and he began the ultrasound, I looked at Jackson and Max (who came along because it was a holiday at school) and prayed that only good news came our way. I could NOT get bad news, especially because they were present... the excitement on their faces was priceless.<br />
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Ultrasound began and what a beautiful sight!!!! Our little baby was facing us with a heart rate of 160bpm. Much to the boys' surprise, their little brother or sister started jumping around and waving his/her arms around. They were amazed!!! It was such an awesome experience and I feel so blessed all went well.<br />
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The doctor said that he couldn't determine the sex even if we wanted to know. However, I couldn't stop zooming in on the crotch area! LOL!!! I'm soooo bad! From now on, no more ultrasound pics from the waist down. It is far too tempting.<br />
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Well, I don't have much else to report which I guess is a very good sign. I am just days away from entering the 2nd trimester and my doctor tells me that I can really stop worrying now. After that appointment, I feel so much better about this pregnancy. There is still that slight paranoia in the back of my mind, but I actually feel like everything is going to be ok.<br />
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Here is my 12 week belly shot. I think I am really starting to show now...<br />
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<span id="goog_1872015852"></span><span id="goog_1872015853"></span><br />Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-25404045693033010722012-10-17T14:09:00.000-07:002012-10-17T14:09:25.621-07:00Down to One =(<br />
It took me a few days to post the news, and I hate having to report this. We had a routine doctors appointment on Monday and sadly we got disappointing news.<br />
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One of the twins did not make it.<br />
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It was a day full of mixed emotions. Cameron and I really didn't know how to react. As soon as the doctor started the ultrasound, I immediately saw only one baby. In my mind I wanted to be so happy that we had gotten this far in a pregnancy and we could actually see what looked like a little gummy bear on the screen, but in my heart, I was very saddened. Bittersweet. Cameron and I held strong as the doctor "searched" for any second baby possibly hiding, but all that we ended up finding was what looked like a shrinking sac near our little survivor. <br />
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This is what doctors call <a href="http://www.americanpregnancy.org/multiples/vanishingtwin.html" target="_blank">Vanishing Twin Syndrome</a>. There was nothing any of us could have done to prevent it and my body will eventually absorb it. It's just considered a miscarriage and should have no effect on the other baby. <br />
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On a positive note, I am still pregnant and this baby is doing perfectly!!! He/she is measuring right on track and we have a due date of May 28, 2013 (but will deliver about a week before that). The heart rate couldn't have been better at 170bpm. We were so relieved to actually see that heart beating on the ultrasound. We are so blessed to have gotten this far and I just pray every day that no more bad surprises are in our path for the next 30 weeks. Everyone is asking when we get to find out the sex. Well, that isn't possible for another couple months BUT we aren't going to find out. I know, don't kill us. This is something we have always wanted to do, so seeing as this is our last, now is the time! And with what Cameron and I have been through in the past year, trying to conceive for 12 months with 3 miscarriages, we really could care less what the sex of this baby is. We will be blessed either way.<br />
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Here is Baby Butcher!!! If you look closely you can see little legs and arms starting to form. And about an inch above him/her you can see the other sac =( </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbyUFVSvagGKrzaOPkMHWqJV0K9ivg4g9VNNHXvqGkxZwjDBf2kQmm8hCGuFrvpp1PhsP8WLn7JZzlRgWk4CINMAkCBV9aviEsyyydYNP2BOpxLA-UmURZ8qRgGLEDHtcfBYEGhnqyoHA/s1600/DSC_0005.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbyUFVSvagGKrzaOPkMHWqJV0K9ivg4g9VNNHXvqGkxZwjDBf2kQmm8hCGuFrvpp1PhsP8WLn7JZzlRgWk4CINMAkCBV9aviEsyyydYNP2BOpxLA-UmURZ8qRgGLEDHtcfBYEGhnqyoHA/s400/DSC_0005.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
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Here is my 8 week belly shot. Yes, I am showing already!! Seeing as this is my 6th baby, this is expected. </div>
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So, now we continue thinking positive and going about a regular, singleton pregnancy. I cannot help but worry every single moment of the day about the healthy baby inside of me. I know everyone is trying to be supportive and tell me that it will be okay, but that's what I have been told before my last 3 losses. I can only keep my head up for so long before I begin to get doubtful. I know after I get out of this first trimester I will feel a little bit more relief, but I honestly will never feel safe. In all my pregnancies, I have never felt so scared before. I am trying my best not to stress, but I can't imagine having to go through another loss. I just won't be able to do this all again. Ever. Please keep this baby in your prayers. </div>
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Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-35294889988190265962012-09-27T14:02:00.000-07:002012-09-27T14:02:55.743-07:00I'VE BEEN BLESSED.... DOUBLE TIME!!!This is a must read. All of you that have read and sent me so many encouraging words, I just want to thank you. Can I just say that good things really do come to those who wait?!?!<br />
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OH. MY. GOODNESS. <br />
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In the matter of a few weeks my life just changed completely. I know, you are sooooo anxious to know, but let me give you the details....<br />
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So, as you know, I have been trying to conceive for over a year now. Throughout this journey, I have experienced 2 miscarriages. Never in a million years did I think I would be that person with infertility issues, especially after having my surrogate triplets. My world just seemed to be unfair; I hated the constant struggle. Well, I made the decision that I needed answers. I wanted to know if something was wrong. I had set an appointment with my OB doctor for September 20th, but about a week before I was scheduled to go in I got this....<br />
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Wow!!!! I was pregnant once again! My first thought was, <i>"Don't get too excited because you know what can happen in these early weeks."</i> My next thought was, <i>"Dang, these are very strong positives seeing as my period isn't due for another 5 days!!"</i> I was over the moon and just felt so good about this one. It was the first time in a long time that I actually felt really pregnant. I was beyond happy.<br />
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Fast forward about a week to my doctor's appointment that I decided to keep just in case anything went wrong, and he decided to put me on progesterone as a precaution and order 2 hcg blood draws. I had one done that day. My number came back at 653 (pretty high for only being 4 weeks 2 days). Then, in 48 hours, I had another.... 1,468!!! Now, after being a surrogate, I know what those numbers mean. Immediately, I got a little nervous. <i>What if it's multiples???</i> No, no. It can't be. Near impossible. Enough said, let's move on. Well, the doctor requested that I come in that next week (which was yesterday) to get an ultrasound so maybe we can determine how far along I really am (he thought I was a little further since my hcg levels were so high). And so, I headed to the doctor's, all alone. My hubby was in Texas for a business trip and he called it. With all of the worrying and stressing about the "what ifs" from the very beginning of the pregnancy, he was spot on....<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</span> </div>
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Can you freaking believe it?!?!?!?! What in the world did my body do??? Can someone please explain this? I really wish there was a camera on in that ultrasound room with me because that moment when I saw 2 sacs on that screen was HILARIOUS!!! The doctor and the nurse could not stop laughing at my reaction.... <i>How did this happen?? What am I going to do? I was supposed to be done at 3!! I just had triplets!!!! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN????</i><br />
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Wow. That is all I can say still after 24 hours of finding out I am pregnant with twins, naturally. And no, twins do not run in my family AT ALL. There has NEVER been a set of twins, ever!!! And no, I wasn't on any sort of fertility drugs for this to happen. This was all God's way of giving me back those 2 babies that I miscarried. This all happened for a reason.<br />
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So many things are going through my mind right now and I hope my husband decides to make his flight home tonight =). Our lives are totally going to change, but I am soooooo thrilled about this. Yes, this is not what we set out for, but it is just a HUGE blessing!!! I am not positive how far along I am (guessing about 6 weeks) but we do go in again in another couple weeks so we can do some measurements and get an exact due date. I know we are still in the danger zone, so I am praying everyday that both babies (OMG, I'm having 2!!) stay healthy and strong. <br />
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Did you ever imagine THIS happening?!?! I will definitely keep you all updated... this is a crazy life after surrogacy =).Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-67896940751126315202012-08-21T17:24:00.000-07:002012-08-23T17:56:24.671-07:00What a Roller Coaster Ride...I wish someday I could come on here and give all of my readers some positive news about my attempts at becoming a mother again after the delivery of my surro triplets. But, I guess the reality is, that is not the case. After my miscarriage in May, I really thought that I did my time; I experienced the heartache that many women are forced to go through and that I was so naive to think it couldn't happen to me. Enough damage done... give me a damn baby already!!<br />
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Well, although the doctor's "orders" were to take the following 2 cycles off to let my body heal, we continued to do as much baby dancing as we could, hoping to conceive and fill that emptiness in our hearts. Just a few months after our devastating miscarriage, we got pregnant again!! We got a positive pregnancy test last week and we were so thrilled! Of course we decided not to go crazy, telling friends and family of the wonderful news, so keeping it to ourselves was so hard!! As each day passed, that positive line on the pregnancy tests got fainter and fainter. Immediately we started to worry. Please don't let this happen again. I really was starting to "feel" pregnant, so I decided that maybe I should get a blood test to make sure everything was ok. Well, the morning I was going to head to the doctor's office, I woke up bleeding and clotting, huge drop in temperature, and I got a negative pregnancy test. <br />
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Words cannot express how confused I am right now. I am so angry, frustrated, devastated, and just disappointed. Why is this happening to me?? I have been on this trying-to-conceive journey for exactly a year now and all I have to show for it is 2 losses. I should be changing diapers, getting sleepless nights, and sharing my love with a 3rd and final baby in this moment. I shouldn't have to let conceiving consume my every thoughts and free moments. This is so unfair!!!!<br />
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And so, my next step is to get some testing done. Apparently there is an issue here. I have difficulty getting pregnant and now I have difficulty staying pregnant. Funny how I can go from being a baby machine to a woman with infertility issues all in the same lifetime. I was classified as a woman with "perfect baby making gear" after all of my testing to become a surrogate, but something has changed all of that. It could be a multiple of things, but whatever it is I just pray to God it is an easy fix. My biggest fear is that the horrific details of my triplet delivery and postpartum healing left me with some permanent damage. I don't think I could face that fact and I would feel awfully guilty if something like that came about.<br />
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I would never in a million years regret the 3 little gifts I gave to my IP's. But, I honestly wish I was better educated about surrogacy before I made that big decision to become one. I will admit that I was in severe denial in the beginning that I could even get pregnant with multiples, and I especially never thought being a surrogate would alter my chances of having more children later in life. I never received the advice that I feel all surrogates should receive- Women most definitely should be done having their own biological children before becoming a surrogate, or if they want to take that risk, then they need to be at peace with it if anything tragic should happen. I know many surrogates don't see any possible damage being done in their future or current surrogate pregnancy, but I thought that too. Of the women I know that carried triplets for another couple, most of them had a horrible postpartum experience and a few of them had to get lady parts removed. Bad things DO happen to good people, and whether you agree with me or not, I have to stand by the fact that women should be done building their own family before helping another.<br />
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I am in no way saying that if I wasn't a surrogate I wouldn't be experiencing these fertility issues, but I think it makes perfect sense. No one could explain the 7 month postpartum bleeding and clotting. That was in no way "normal" to me and I just wish someone did more to help me. I can't blame anyone at this point. All I can do is let myself grieve, move on, try again, and get some answers. Next month I will be visiting my doctor to begin the testing and hopefully someday soon I will be experiencing a very happy and healthy pregnancy.<br />
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<br />Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-1412959933602652892012-06-27T12:38:00.001-07:002012-06-27T12:38:06.015-07:00Letting Go...One of the hardest things about being a surrogate is letting go. Every surrogacy journey is completely different in their own little ways, but no matter what, we all have to let go at one point. Whether a surrogate has no opportunity to be introduced to the life she created and held inside her for 9 long months, or a surrogate continues to hold onto a lasting relationship for years to come after the delivery, there comes a point where we have to accept the fact that our surrogacy journey is over.<br />
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I have been completely blessed for the past 22 months. I had the opportunity to visit with my surro triplets and IP's as often as it seemed convenient for all of us and the fact that they lived just under 2 short hours from me was definitely a huge bonus. There wasn't a month that went by where we didn't hear from each other and I absolutely adored the fact that I would get occasional photo and video updates from all of the amazing changes these beautiful girls have gone through in just under 2 years. I can't believe how big they are now and how incredibly adorable they each are in their own individual ways. <br />
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Life can get hectic at points, and with heavy obstacles thrown your way, time slips by you too fast. It has been almost 10 months since I have seen the girls last and now at this point in my life I am very disappointed that I didn't take more advantage of the fact that visiting them more often was not only doable, but very much welcomed. I recently was informed that my surrogate family will soon be moving across the country =(. At first when hearing this news, I was overwhelmed with confused emotions. For the last couple years, I knew that their stay down here in Southern California was a temporary one, and the original plan wasn't for them to stay so long. But, as time went on, the stay got extended. I was one lucky surrogate... not only did my IP's continue to welcome me into their lives, but I also got to visit as much or as little as I liked. Now that they will be moving, that all will change. <br />
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Although I really feel that virtual contact with my IP's and the triplets will be maintained for the years to come, I know I need to let go. I need to do what every surrogate has the responsibility of doing, and that is to let the family go live their life without having this guilt of responsibility to me, their surrogate. I never did go through those rough days or weeks that many of us surrogates are forced to endure as their IP's escape across the world and never hearing from them again, so I could never relate to that side of surrogacy before. But, after 22 months of living in this blessed post-surrogacy life, I have to say good-bye. Good-bye doesn't have to mean forever, and I really hope with all of my heart that I will still have the opportunity to see these girls as they grow into beautiful little ladies, but I have to come to terms that none of that is guaranteed. <br />
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Before their BIG move, I get to say "good-bye" to the family that came here as 2 and are leaving as 5 thanks to my miraculous uterus!! I can't wait for Sunday.<br />Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-9779747298032474452012-06-01T17:38:00.001-07:002012-06-01T17:38:18.734-07:00Better DaysIt has been over a week since we got the bad news and I am happy to report that each day gets better and better. I do have moments when I find myself completely alone, no one around to talk to and nothing much to do, where all I can do is wish that I was still pregnant. But, I know I just need to move on because nothing will change by just dwelling about it day after day. I know deep down I will always hurt from this moment, but what kind of person would I be if I didn't?<br />
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I have fully recovered physically and I am back on that trying to conceive train. Woot Woot!! Or is that "toot toot"? Who knows?! So let's just all hope that it doesn't take another 8 months for my miracle baby to come. I really hope I am one of those lucky ones that just gets pregnant again right away! Fingers crossed!!!<br />
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I have been staying very busy lately with my new business adventure (and sometimes it makes that baby itch of mine become a full on rash!!). A photography business has always been a dream of mine and I FINALLY made it a reality!! Yay!! I have so much to improve on, but here is my website and FB page if you would like to check it out. My 5 year goal is to do weddings full time, with my hubby by my side who also shares this passion- (heck, then I don't have to pay an assistant!). I'm excited to think of all the possibilities. Wish me luck!!<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-32222060661272915502012-05-24T18:06:00.000-07:002012-05-24T18:06:45.807-07:00Short Lived Happiness...This trying to conceive journey has definitely taken an emotional toll on me. Month after month, negative after negative, I wasn't sure how much longer I could take!! Until last week when I went in to see my doctor about possible testing to check out my uterus, I found out that I was PREGNANT!!! I was so excited, overjoyed, and in disbelief. Was this moment finally here?!? It took a few days before that all settled in and after telling our boys, we all were so happy and just felt complete. I smiled for days =). <br />
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Well, that happiness soon ended and I experienced a miscarriage. Although I was only 5 1/2 weeks, I am in complete disappointment. That moment my husband and I shared in the doctor's office when I found out I was pregnant was one of our best and one I will never forget. I have never seen him smile so big before. What we had worked so hard for was finally becoming a reality. It is so sad to think how fast a situation can change, and before you know it, you are experiencing the worst day of your life. I keep thinking in my head, why? Why did this happen to me? Why did it take so long to conceive, and then have this happen? No one can really explain why this happens. It just does. But as selfish as it sounds, I never thought that person would be me. You hear story after story about women miscarrying anytime in their first trimester, but it never really crossed my mind that I would be one of them. I had 2 perfect pregnancies of my own and one amazing surrogate pregnancy that beat so many odds. Why is this happening now?? <br />
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Although I only miscarried yesterday, I am slowly beginning to accept the situation. But, man, would I give anything to wake up tomorrow and this all be just a nightmare. I know nothing I could have done could have changed the situation, but it feels only natural to feel some sort of guilt. I just hope someday soon this moment will be behind me as I am holding my brand new newborn baby. Only time will tell if, and when, this dream of mine will finally come true. Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-4505838751889906832012-03-20T17:22:00.000-07:002012-03-20T17:22:12.402-07:00Where Are You Karma Gods?I really don't think I am owed anything for having 3 beautiful baby girls for complete strangers, but I think I do deserve some sort of break here. I can't believe how long it has been and still no baby for me =(.<br />
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Okay, some of you may think that 6 cycles of baby making are nothing compared to years and years that some people endure before getting a chance of parenthood, but this is so unexpected for me. C'mon, my first son was our little honeymoon baby and let's just remind everyone the importance of not missing even ONE birth control pill. BUT, I love you Jackson and I wouldn't change things for the world. Our second little guy was a spur-of-the-moment decision (so technically he was planned and I won't blame that on the bottle of wine that was consumed during the decision making), but we got him in just one shot. No wonder why this guy is a little stinker... there is no stopping him from getting what he wants at any time!! Then, on my first transfer with A & M, I am successful times 3!!! I guess with everything that has happened with my uterus in the past 5 years I just kinda expected to get what I wanted, when I wanted. <br />
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I am now on my 3rd cycle of REALLY trying to conceive, but my 7th of not, not trying. I am nailing my ovulation time down to the hour and "doing the deed" maybe even more then I can usually handle. The hubby has been one lucky guy =). This whole trying thing is so new to me and I am trying my best to accept it, but that doesn't mean that I am not frustrated out of my mind!!! UGH!!!!! I just wish I knew what was going on in there! I would hate to think that my long a** recovery from the triplets had anything to do with it, but I know 8 months of postpartum bleeding wasn't exactly "normal".<br />
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Right now, all I can do is wait. Continue to try, maybe not so much, and try not to stress as I spend pointless dollars of home pregnancy tests just to see Aunt Flo has showed days after. <br />
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I do realize now a small piece of what couples go through to get that baby they so desire. This last one of ours has been planned for sooooo long. I think after we had our 2nd, Max, we knew when we wanted to have our 3rd and last baby, and this time has been thought of for so long. It hurts to want something so bad, seeing others get it so easily, and just be let down month after month. I gotta tell you though how annoying people can be with their comments and I now know NOT what to say to people struggling to conceive.<br />
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"Once you stop trying, you will get pregnant".... okay, that's just dumb because what does a desire or want (which is a type of an emotion) have anything to do with the actual process of baby making? How does actually timing sex on ovulation day PREVENT you from getting pregnant? It's not like the sperm that enters say, "Oh, stay away from that egg because we only like to be surprises!!" No, fools. There are babies that are actually planned out there, believe it or not.<br />
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"It will happen in God's timing".... I am not an entirely religious person, but I do believe in God. But, I do not believe that the only reason women don't get pregnant one month and then the other is all in His plans. There are more things that come into play other then God when making a baby. If He had total control of this whole egg-meets-sperm thing, then don't you think there would be NO pregnant teens in this world?? And for me, it is really hard to believe that not one of those millions of sperms do not reach that egg each month because it isn't God's timing. And what would be the difference for Him if I got pregnant now rather then in 3 months?!? Again, dumb, so don't continuously attempt to comfort me with this.<br />
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And lastly (people phrase this differently, but I am trying to cover up their stupidity), "Do you ever think that if you didn't become a surrogate, your dreams of having a 3rd would have already come true?" Hmmmmm, first, are you saying I am being punished??? Yes, some people really think that this is a sign that what I did was morally wrong and I am being sent a message here. I have nothing to say to people who confront me with this (yes, there have been a few) because I can go on for days!!! But, for those who think that my surrogacy had some sort of damaging results to my body and they want to know if that was the case do I regret my decision, then the answer is yes (I think about this sometimes), but no (I would not change a thing). Being a surrogate was the most rewarding experience of my life and though I would never intentionally risk my life for it, I did take the chance of not having more of my own children in the future. I am not saying that I wouldn't be tremendously hurt if I went to the doctor and he told me that I had some sort of permanent damage from carrying triplets and pregnancy was more then unlikely, but I think I would be okay with that. I love Eve, May, and Lily so much and I could not imagine my life without this experience. They not only changed my life and my outlook on the world, but they also gave so much inspiration to others and I will forever live with this amazing story to tell. <br />
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And so, my journey continues to try and conceive another bun of my own and I am hoping that this happens VERY soon. I am not a very patient person to say the least, but whoever is going to come into our lives in the next 9 or so months, is well worth the fight.Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-75230903011613968892012-02-14T13:00:00.001-08:002012-03-07T09:04:56.806-08:00My Surrogate Agency and Legal Issues...Okay, I don't know how clear I ever made this or if I ever shared about how horrible my surrogate agency was, but this proves it all!! In a time of vulnerability and emotional instability from being pregnant with the triplets, I could not handle the serious issues I was having with <a href="http://miraclesinc.net/" target="_blank">Miracles Egg Donation and Surrogacy</a> like I really should have and I really believed all the lies and crap that the owner, Allison Layton, fed me day after day. I came across this article today (which was dated in July 2011) and I cannot believe how many people she has screwed over!! Well, yes, I guess I can believe it because if me and my IP's weren't as demanding as we were (IP being an attorney too), I know we would have totally been robbed like so many people. Here is the short article with comments from poor egg donors and IP's:<br />
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<a href="http://www.eggdonor.com/blog/2011/07/27/allegations-misconduct-leveled-miracles-egg-donation-surrogacy/" target="_blank">http://www.eggdonor.com/blog/2011/07/27/allegations-misconduct-leveled-miracles-egg-donation-surrogacy/</a><br />
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Throughout the time I worked with this agency (about 18 months), I experienced unnecessary stress and anxiety about compensation that was owed to me month after month. She began taking a portion of my compensation away each month, claiming that that was what my contract stated (confusing issue), but I would not let her get away with this. I contacted the lawyer and Allison was in the wrong. When I confronted her with proof that I was owed the money, she acted like I was being a selfish bi*ch and from there more problems came about. Month after month I was dealing with her by myself and was so uncomfortable to get my IP's involved; talking about my compensation wasn't an easy thing to do with them. But, after I delivered and was owed thousands and thousands of dollars, I had to call my IP's. They were outraged because apparently they were getting their trust fund statements each month showing when and how much I was being paid, so they never thought there was an issue. WELL, I wasn't getting paid according to the statement Miracles mailed to them and stuff was not adding up. My IP's demanded that I get paid and demanded that they close their trust fund and get their money back. My IP's and I would then deal with that remaining compensations privately. Of course my IP's didn't get this money back and it took a long fight. I am not sure how that all ended. <br />
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After more investigation, I guess Allison has ran away from her business in Glendora, CA and now lives in Idaho. Some people even stated that she has left some of her children behind with her ex husband. Her business is no longer running and many people have complained to the BBB and some even got the FBI involved. She is facing some serious allegations and I hope she pays for it. No one deserves any of what she has done. For someone who was so welcoming and supportive in the beginning, I cannot believe it all ended like this. I just hope agencies like this are held responsible and nobody has to go through an experience like this. You go into surrogacy feeling secure because you have an agency and lawyers involved, but sometimes things are out of your control. In the end, a contract means nothing.<br />
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<i>***I want to thank you all for posting and sharing some of your thoughts and stories. I am trying my best to speak up and defend all of those that have been hurt and effected by Allison Layton in some form or another. I know that it is difficult to post your identity publicly on this issue, but if you really feel like your voice needs to be heard, please reach out to me through email. I have contact info for the agent involved in this case and I really would love to get as many cases against Allison as I can, so that she can pay for what she has done. Here is where I can be reached: mrscbutcher@gmail.com. <br />
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Thanks so much,<br />
Ashley</i>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com173tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-21143669797094670622012-02-03T16:30:00.000-08:002012-02-03T16:30:21.221-08:00Max is Good, New Blog...Wow!! My little guy is fine!!! That was the worst 4 days of my life to say the least. After almost a week in the hospital and round the clock testing, my little Maxwell showed no signs of abnormal brain activity and he is just perfect!! I hate the fact that 4 different doctors gave me the scare of my life, assuming that he was experiencing some sort of seizures, but glad they took every precaution to rule that out. God was really watching over us last week and I feel so blessed for the outcome. We are not sure why Max is experiencing ongoing eye rolling/fluttering that look like seizure activity, but I don't need to worry excessively because his brain is perfect. It may be something as simple as a muscle or moisture issue in his eyes and we will determine that with more doctor visits to come. He was quite a trooper throughout the visit, even through the 24 hour EEG where he had to remain as still as possible. Not easy for a 3 year old.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU6gaScO725Eo_0a0apCyQmsgFFfNRaat7budQ8qz00j4tBqy4kaaEtQlPmGAQDUDMUv_AYPLN78z8c7q0pEYJ3ZNFot7H0oQvgttK0mLEf_WeQddFfAEYbBgLhJJiJ54_woto1FQiFUQ/s1600/IMG_9864.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU6gaScO725Eo_0a0apCyQmsgFFfNRaat7budQ8qz00j4tBqy4kaaEtQlPmGAQDUDMUv_AYPLN78z8c7q0pEYJ3ZNFot7H0oQvgttK0mLEf_WeQddFfAEYbBgLhJJiJ54_woto1FQiFUQ/s400/IMG_9864.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Had to be sedated to get all those wires glued to his head =(</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA9uw_Baj5hiAaCK-8x9zq0cb68hN7dYVKlHY7178P3n-IIegFtnEftCe27LdK0NvbYaK75Qv7ANCDOhBmEsk3RP_uYOHwgIgRd9C82yEnCAVPj8fCx2b5i2kvE2H8v0B_8VYRbBqh7EE/s1600/IMG_9871.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA9uw_Baj5hiAaCK-8x9zq0cb68hN7dYVKlHY7178P3n-IIegFtnEftCe27LdK0NvbYaK75Qv7ANCDOhBmEsk3RP_uYOHwgIgRd9C82yEnCAVPj8fCx2b5i2kvE2H8v0B_8VYRbBqh7EE/s400/IMG_9871.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Couldn't move much because he had wires coming from the back that connected to that blue box.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTtIJh5k-iwlfnf440dDdchyphenhyphenAnWpI3kMFoc_pgmjsfFkkW8mpDSU6EEEUlezJq9UosivshKuUUYHtQKgDzoEQqReC_3Z6CEG9r95quc0y0mD4asUUV6OxBhBv6xrxPIqKa3S0moIDS4Xs/s1600/IMG_9868.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTtIJh5k-iwlfnf440dDdchyphenhyphenAnWpI3kMFoc_pgmjsfFkkW8mpDSU6EEEUlezJq9UosivshKuUUYHtQKgDzoEQqReC_3Z6CEG9r95quc0y0mD4asUUV6OxBhBv6xrxPIqKa3S0moIDS4Xs/s400/IMG_9868.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">With Aunt Kellie... he LOVED visitors!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">On a different note, I have started a fun new blog, <a href="http://butcherbakerprojectundertakers.blogspot.com/" style="color: #ea9999;" target="_blank">The Butcher, The Baker, The Project Undertakers</a>. Click there or <a href="http://butcherbakerprojectundertakers.blogspot.com/" style="color: #ea9999;" target="_blank">here</a>. After my surrogacy journey, I really wanted to do all those things I said I always wanted to do. I learned to not put stuff aside and follow through with things that I set out to accomplish. And after having triplets, I felt like I could accomplish the world!! Yes, I felt a little like Super Woman =). After purchasing our first home, I had a million things running through my head on how I wanted my creativity and personal touch to shine through in our new home. Yes, many people are surprised at how handy I can be!! So, feel free to follow that one as well and hopefully I will impress some of you readers =).</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">On a BIG positive note, the baby making has continued and I just feel so good about this cycle. I can't wait to share great news with all of you. Keeping my fingers crossed, but legs open! Hahahahah! Sorry, had to!! </div>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-69381837827311448692012-01-24T19:11:00.000-08:002012-01-24T19:11:20.537-08:00It's Time, But Sadly Distracted =(So, the time I have been waiting for what seems like a lifetime is here... It's baby making week and I have been charting for months leading up to this point. I have never been so in tune with my body; I can time that big ovulation moment down to the hour it takes place. No joke!! However, these past couple days have been the worst days of my life...<br />
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My little baby, Max, has hit a difficult time in his life and to make a long story short, something is wrong. He began experiencing seizure like behavior over the past several days (nothing intense, just uncontrollable eye movements along with zoning out) but they seem to be getting more frequent. He spent all day and night in the emergency room doing blood work, x-rays, and ct scans. The poor guy is only 3 years old and has to go through even more in the next few days. At first, the doctor expected a brain bleed from a huge head injury from 2 months ago, but the ct scan came back normal. We went to his pediatrician today and we are now taking so many precautions to solve this problem. We go in to the pediatric neurologist tomorrow for more evaluations and testing, including an EEG which scares me to death =(. This is just so hard thinking your child is completely healthy one day, and then the next day you just have no clue what's wrong. I know I may not get answers any time soon, but until then please keep him in your thoughts and prayers. <br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">Mommy loves you, Monkey!!! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFrkR8EkJFDIgLn36uva7xvbVr39O81qmsE3KB5gopWhQlBNnvwVtzCY6k53TfLOYQNwXgAg_o0DsP_lI9ACa8U-q2lnlHfcTS0A7yCRneQeVZZG3ZsOt5lgTl9E4IexIvXhjXkRXz6Ao/s1600/Max+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFrkR8EkJFDIgLn36uva7xvbVr39O81qmsE3KB5gopWhQlBNnvwVtzCY6k53TfLOYQNwXgAg_o0DsP_lI9ACa8U-q2lnlHfcTS0A7yCRneQeVZZG3ZsOt5lgTl9E4IexIvXhjXkRXz6Ao/s400/Max+3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-42131497287443456372012-01-07T21:33:00.000-08:002012-01-08T07:20:24.189-08:00Big Decision in the Next 9 Months...9 months OR SO... no, not pregnant just yet but definitely in the trying stages. I never thought the big S-E-X was going to be such a chore, but it just isn't as easy as it used to be. Don't worry, we are still having fun while trying and we have very high hopes of delivering a big healthy baby in 2012.<br />
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Now that I see my 3rd and last baby in our very near future, I have a very big decision to make. I really want to decide whether or not my "shop" is closed; am I done having babies?? The reason I need/want to make this decision before the next baby comes is because I think getting my tubes tied during my c-section would be the best thing to do if I am done. A tubal will just make the whole permanent birth control a done deal and neither my husband and I will need to be worried about him getting a vasectomy or me having to go back in for something else. I SUCK at taking any sort of prescription birth control and I know there are other options, but I really just feel like if they are already "in there", then why not!<br />
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I think I am positive that 3 kids complete my family, no matter what the gender may be. It already scares me enough that bringing a 3rd child into our home will then make more kids then parents, but I am up for the challenge. A party of 5 just seems perfect for us =). But, I am still so young and will only be 28 (hopefully) when this baby comes... I have quite a few years ahead of me for healthy baby making age and even though I will be done I don't know if I feel okay with the fact that I <i>CAN'T</i> even though I <i>DON'T WANT TO</i>. Make sense?? <br />
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So, is there another surrogacy journey in my future or should I just count my blessings and be thankful that my triplet pregnancy ended well after many rough challenges? Gosh, I really go back and forth on this and I don't know whether or not I will ever fully decide. On one hand, being a surrogate was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, but on the other hand I have never felt like more of a failure as a mother to my children then I did during those months of struggling with carrying triplets. Some say to me, "You did once; you fulfilled your dream. Why do you need to do it again?" Well, I guess only us surrogates can really relate to the answer to this question; it is absolutely unexplainable. Yes, I went into my 1st and only journey planning on it being a one time experience, but that day in the delivery room changed my life. I could go on for days about the pros and cons of the whole thing, but a surro friend of mine (whom also carried triplets) put it very clear for me; <i>"I would have loved to do another surrogacy, but I feel like I should be grateful things worked out the way they did and I cannot possibly ask my family to go on that ride again."</i><br />
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She is right... my family comes first. I cannot risk carrying triplets again and putting my children and husband through what I did in order to get through that pregnancy. Yes, we all survived through it and it was only a temporary thing, but those were 32 weeks that I can never relive. When I look at the cons, all that keeps flashing in my mind is being in the delivery room after the girls were out and hearing the doctors and nurses yelling, running around to save my life. Losing 20 times the normal amount of blood was not only scary for me, but gave my husband the worst feeling he has ever experienced. I would NEVER wish that for us again. Ever.<br />
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I think if my surrogacy pregnancy was much different, maybe carrying just a singleton with little to no problems, this wouldn't be much of an issue. But, that's not the case; I was the less-then-1% where both embryos took and one split. If it happened once, it definitely could happen again.<br />
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So, I guess my rambling is done for today, but the thoughts in my mind will never stop. I am sure people will tell me to not make any decision until I am fully decided, but I don't think I will ever feel like I made the right decision either way. As of today, I am leaning towards the tubal. Tomorrow, who knows?!? I know I don't have to make this decision, but I WANT to. I WANT my mind to be made up. Hopefully I will get preggo very soon because for some reason my mind during pregnancy is very logical. Really, it is. Usually it is the opposite for most women, but as the belly gets bigger I become some damn rocket scientist... I definitely outsmart the hubby which really scares him =).<br />
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I don't mind hearing any input or thoughts on this!!<br />
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<i>*****Guess my pre-baby ignorance shined through, but I am aware I could become a gestational surrogate still after a tubal... thanks for the one who pointed that out!! But in a way, a tubal will symbolize an end of a chapter for me; an I'm done, let me have my body back thing. If I feel like I can't get pregnant the natural way, then I feel I can finally move on and start living my life without beginning more. But, I'm afraid surrogacy will always linger in my mind since it will be possible =).<br />
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And getting a tubal for me gives me a ticket to a much needed tuck and lift =). No babies allowed after that!! </i> <br />
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Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-61286918237034894032011-12-22T13:19:00.000-08:002011-12-22T13:19:46.581-08:00Happy Holidays!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Wishing everyone a Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I am so grateful for all of the love and support in my life and could not be more proud of where I am today. 2011 was a fabulous year and I am soooo excited for 2012...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">let the baby making begin!!! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fzGMcUxlbfg/TvOemkt7LkI/AAAAAAAABoo/5mT0LPplNMw/s1600/sc0127814f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="283" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fzGMcUxlbfg/TvOemkt7LkI/AAAAAAAABoo/5mT0LPplNMw/s400/sc0127814f.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-27765562443553912812011-12-06T10:25:00.000-08:002011-12-06T15:03:44.332-08:00Thoughts and Changes!!Well, yes, my blog looks VERY different!! I added a little bit to my title so that people are aware that life does go on after surrogacy and the journey just doesn't end after poppin' out someone else's baby/babies!! A lot of fellow surrogacy blogs just come to an abrupt end after delivering their surro baby and it leaves people like me wondering so much; how are the emotions post surrogacy journey? How is the relationship with the IP's now that they finally have a family? What are the thoughts that continuously go through the mind of a surrogate weeks, months, even years after the journey is over?<br />
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Well, it has been well over a year since giving birth to Eve, May, and Lily and not a day goes by where I don't think of them. It isn't a feeling of missing them or feeling sad from "giving them up", it is more of a constant overwhelming emotion that I actually changed so many lives in so many ways. I look at the pictures I have of them framed in my home (yes, I consider them an extended part of my family, so they have designated picture spots in my house) and I can't help but smile every time I see their faces. Wow!!! I did that?!? It is still unbelievable to me in so many ways. I can't say this enough, but being a surrogate is a feeling that is so indescribable, only those who have been through it really know what it feels like to give life to someone other then your own child. <br />
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I am not sure if my followers are still out there checkin' up on me, but I am here!! I am still in the process of trying for that 3rd baby that I am dying to have!! Things aren't perfectly easy with that, but the hubby and I have decided to calm the trying part down a bit, enjoy the holidays, and then after the first of the year we will really get things in gear and hopefully have a bun in my oven soon after that. It seems as though I have been on this emotional roller coaster with conceiving my own after the triplets. After the girls were born, I felt this need to just get pregnant right away; kind of like I needed to fill that void. I don't know... it wasn't like I missed not having the baby part after birth, but more I missed the pregnancy part. It was like, one minute I was pregnant with 3, experiencing a world of amazing emotions, and the next minute it all was gone. It is beyond the most complicated situation, yet so incredible all at the same time. Again, surrogate emotions here =). It took me months of going through ups and downs, whether or not I should act on my emotions and get pregnant with my own child or another surro baby. I decided I needed to find myself; get back to being ME. I am so happy with that decision because I owed it to the ones I was forced to neglect during my surrogacy pregnancy. I can happily say that today I absolutely LOVE my life!!! There is not a day that goes by that I am not grateful for all the great things happening every day. I love my boys tremendously and appreciate the fact that I get to stay home every day and watch every little milestone with them. It is awesome!! I am finally at a place where I know having another child will just complete our family. I can't wish for anything more right now, but if things continue to not go as planned I am okay with that. I think in the past month I realized how grateful I am to have 2 beautiful boys and the best husband in the world. It will crush me not being able to be a mommy again, but I know I am at a state of mind where I know it will be okay and I will be able to move on and be the best mom to Jack and Max.<br />
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So, my journey continues after the life of being a surrogate. I always have so many thoughts and emotions going through my mind about what I did for this family. I continue to have a very close relationship with the girls and my IP's and I am so lucky for that. I am not sure what will grow through this blog (my own baby, another surrogacy journey, who knows!!), but hopefully I will make great changes!!Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-24378485558952981592011-11-08T20:28:00.000-08:002011-11-08T20:28:15.689-08:00Growing Your Family After Surrogacy...Okay, so this topic has really caught my attention lately and I have gotten so many different opinions and facts about the whole thing...<br />
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<b><i>How does being a surrogate effect your chances of having more children of your own after your surrogacy journey? </i></b><br />
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Now that I have had over a year of recovering and I am FINALLY "normal", I am excited to say that we are ready to work on our 3rd and, most likely, last baby!!! However, things aren't going as smoothly as I assumed they would go. Without going into detail, I am not crazy Ms Fertile Myrtle anymore =(. I am not yet in panic mode because I know I need to give it some more time even though I have NEVER had to give it time in the past. Shoot, I got pregnant with my first while taking the pill religiously, my second happened on our first time trying for him, AND I got preggo as a surrogate with 3 babies!! Hmmmm, maybe I do have a problem, maybe not? <br />
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I have posted this issue on support sites and have also read up on other people's past problems with this and I have gotten so many different answers. Some women say that their agency HIGHLY recommends a surrogate be 100% finished having their own kids before becoming a surrogate because of the risks. My agency never warned me about anything like this possibly happening! Some women say that the fertility drugs you take to get pregnant can effect your own fertility later on. Some women have met past surrogates who ended up needing their own surrogate after their journey because they then experienced their own infertility. Then there are women who claim that the chances of something going wrong and effecting your chances of having another baby after a surrogacy journey is so small and should not be stressed about. This has all got me so confused!!<br />
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I am not jumping to any conclusion and claiming that I have a fertility issue as of now. But, I can honestly say that something has changed. My body hasn't felt the same since being a surrogate. But I believe that this has more to do with the fact that I had triplets more then because I was a surrogate. But after reading so many different comments and concerns, I just can't help but worry just a bit. I couldn't imagine if there was a problem; that would just break my husband's heart and he did nothing to deserve this. I am going to think VERY positive in the next few months and just have fun trying!! I will be sooooo blessed when/if the time comes where I can announce that there is MY bun in MY oven!! I really believe that I deserve this. Wish me luck!!Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-78049770506955156232011-10-23T13:03:00.000-07:002011-10-27T15:58:31.319-07:00Remembering the Loss of Babies...I am so proud of my sister and her accomplishments. She co-founded <a href="http://www.walktoremember-ie.org/index.html">Walk to Remember </a>years after she experienced a horrible loss of her baby during pregnancy. This organization has helped so many families and the support they give is just amazing!! Last weekend, they had their 2nd annual Walk to Remember event and I was blown away with it all. I was so honored to be able to be the photographer/videographer for the event and finally finished a video that is just so touching. If you have about 15 minutes to spare, take a look at the event.... and you gotta watch the entire thing =)<br />
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**Make sure your volume is on and press HD to get the best quality**<br />
Make take about 15 seconds to load!!<br />
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<center><embed allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" flashvars="playerVars=autoPlay=no" height="304" name="Metacafe_7553309" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" src="http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/7553309/2011_walk_to_remember_inland_empire.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="540" wmode="transparent"></embed><div style="font-size: 12px;"><a href="http://www.metacafe.com/watch/7553309/2011_walk_to_remember_inland_empire/"></a> <a href="http://www.metacafe.com/"></a></div></center>Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3942935006858413184.post-65106224703205903972011-09-26T09:33:00.000-07:002011-09-26T09:33:25.371-07:00Happy Birthday, Max!!My little Max is 3 years old (yesterday, so I'm a day late)!! I really cannot believe how fast the last 3 years have gone and it is very sad to think that I no longer have a baby or a toddler in the house =(. No more diapers, bottles, pacifiers, baby gates, or sleepless nights; just 2 big boys who have become so independent. Seeing my youngest turn another year older really makes that urge to have another baby so much stronger!! I know I can't wait for our tentative conception date (which is 7 loooonnnnggg months away), but it will be here before we know it and hopefully around January 2013 I will have my last little bundle of joy and my family will be complete.<br />
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Maxwell, happy birthday my little monkey. Having you was one of the best yet craziest decisions me and your daddy have made; having 2 boys just 14 months apart has been quite the challenge but so amazing!! Your laughter and sense of humor always makes me smile. You have the most kissable cheeks, and although you are just like your mommy and aren't the overly affectionate type, everyone enjoys stealing hugs and kisses from you whenever they get the chance. Even though you follow in your brothers shadows the majority of the time, you really are one-of-a-kind and have changed our lives so much!! Love you, Max!!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5nUvmk9wDMgTa3E6PfJ86ChGPS8XVTo4JGfYpTu5-dlRoS0oh7HoK_3GRQXZPUnNH5GArK9tePRk2A07p5ikzS3iwKFeDg_Pt15npbBHZ7pccn6Z_C6drwsQ5toP6U5ZrncknZ7rLt1w/s1600/IMG_3246.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5nUvmk9wDMgTa3E6PfJ86ChGPS8XVTo4JGfYpTu5-dlRoS0oh7HoK_3GRQXZPUnNH5GArK9tePRk2A07p5ikzS3iwKFeDg_Pt15npbBHZ7pccn6Z_C6drwsQ5toP6U5ZrncknZ7rLt1w/s320/IMG_3246.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Wow!! Me, 9 months preggo, getting ready for delivery.</div><div style="text-align: center;">LOVE scheduled c-section!!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK4JVFZXANev9HLKYCDgnDA0BxukiXvwkthmzGZFjY2gQ6zDnTHxtf50LqsI1PoNXvp7xwrrQSuPUEFUUPvY7beAUREQtjts5GPx35nqeU1vJ3TephE_DB0WXJbpa9pY8DRrHDzA9Tx98/s1600/IMG_3311.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiK4JVFZXANev9HLKYCDgnDA0BxukiXvwkthmzGZFjY2gQ6zDnTHxtf50LqsI1PoNXvp7xwrrQSuPUEFUUPvY7beAUREQtjts5GPx35nqeU1vJ3TephE_DB0WXJbpa9pY8DRrHDzA9Tx98/s320/IMG_3311.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Meeting Maxwell Grant for the first time.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJPDUDGk1K892IWPn-QWdyiiePsh9sSekA3wlyxrrC7s70DM_7Pux9lheNQVHdRv69aUjYygUgJtAYusd90vzxWgOIZuyLBmZqeaXL4LzmFgPzJ_n16jtTnu_ky9QKkpc3GI9Uu8MwN50/s1600/IMG_3348.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJPDUDGk1K892IWPn-QWdyiiePsh9sSekA3wlyxrrC7s70DM_7Pux9lheNQVHdRv69aUjYygUgJtAYusd90vzxWgOIZuyLBmZqeaXL4LzmFgPzJ_n16jtTnu_ky9QKkpc3GI9Uu8MwN50/s320/IMG_3348.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Jackson meeting his little "Brober"!</div><div style="text-align: center;">LOVE this picture!!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPG8V2xRtvyng2udf12EJXQNlsMDe1r-oc8NfOZNtjJ1JJQhOYLIWDHGdIMPXVPiPN9PdxbpX6R-9sdUNQpJZz_WTAlKkJWhD5VT5ry6LBHWWTeBGZnMRyxktQJ-yyBKpqQU99sxSfJmg/s1600/IMG_3530.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPG8V2xRtvyng2udf12EJXQNlsMDe1r-oc8NfOZNtjJ1JJQhOYLIWDHGdIMPXVPiPN9PdxbpX6R-9sdUNQpJZz_WTAlKkJWhD5VT5ry6LBHWWTeBGZnMRyxktQJ-yyBKpqQU99sxSfJmg/s320/IMG_3530.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">He was just the chunkiest, cutest thing!!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6xWj2U7xRlzP0w47jxlI0F_B7P-Ti_HtVLsyOZUpRvls92gxc96B0vmDJB2XjIrGIBJHFSZguoVTZ6p9KI0EDCohlhfNzZ97hYIdZolHDGnNB-X4-R9vARMWC59JhTlr4p1WmSEA2Pz8/s1600/DSC_0113.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6xWj2U7xRlzP0w47jxlI0F_B7P-Ti_HtVLsyOZUpRvls92gxc96B0vmDJB2XjIrGIBJHFSZguoVTZ6p9KI0EDCohlhfNzZ97hYIdZolHDGnNB-X4-R9vARMWC59JhTlr4p1WmSEA2Pz8/s320/DSC_0113.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">My BIG boys today</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0vejtBjhmeZ8cUe7jdDFlraN2uMQm0zXHJXIZ5R8Y26aACvVhQH9Tle7eHot26aDxNm-isxj-RvSO5upnQE3sfPE4-02vZHqFBeF7x40sjLddzZ3rN_epmEmIoGbu3cahX6-comI5SYo/s1600/DSC_0140+-+Version+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0vejtBjhmeZ8cUe7jdDFlraN2uMQm0zXHJXIZ5R8Y26aACvVhQH9Tle7eHot26aDxNm-isxj-RvSO5upnQE3sfPE4-02vZHqFBeF7x40sjLddzZ3rN_epmEmIoGbu3cahX6-comI5SYo/s320/DSC_0140+-+Version+2.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">I'm 3!!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2ksMXr0ddPc1nWoP92U7-JyEr84jB-Qero9Jk3eGQpnzMra27G173pNzeSd1AnI3YH9oDworFTY390dZcze2c-0v4tr52pauVevlZs7dbBLU2N7BcEYI3v9ST3g-mtGu6LDdfSkgcZBI/s1600/DSC_0156.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2ksMXr0ddPc1nWoP92U7-JyEr84jB-Qero9Jk3eGQpnzMra27G173pNzeSd1AnI3YH9oDworFTY390dZcze2c-0v4tr52pauVevlZs7dbBLU2N7BcEYI3v9ST3g-mtGu6LDdfSkgcZBI/s320/DSC_0156.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Love his smile =)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUpGfOQd2RciKHssRsUGUWF-VBwJqaxlwaG0OsahnCj_ACL2V98kAKIsiGz-2RDHnT-Dgfr58pEZZz-iNxw9lc-SM0tol3YJgQuS0RBvXYtS7f37zDAwUy-HsWZYTVJVCCO-hDqbvbvoI/s1600/DSC_0163.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUpGfOQd2RciKHssRsUGUWF-VBwJqaxlwaG0OsahnCj_ACL2V98kAKIsiGz-2RDHnT-Dgfr58pEZZz-iNxw9lc-SM0tol3YJgQuS0RBvXYtS7f37zDAwUy-HsWZYTVJVCCO-hDqbvbvoI/s320/DSC_0163.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Mommy and daddy love him soooo much!!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<span id="goog_37811390"></span><span id="goog_37811391"></span> Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04283782649412932548noreply@blogger.com2