This has been a very eventful week... one I will NEVER forget. I never knew how much joy and pain I could feel within 24 hours, but I have learned that carrying triplets is like a roller coaster and each day brings on many different challenges. I never knew how much I would be tested, emotionally and physically, throughout this journey. I can gladly say that this whole experience will make me, and those close ones around me, better and stronger people.
So, here I am awaiting another ultrasound. Most women, in a normal pregnancy, absolutely LOVE having these done and wish they did more than the 1-2 scheduled scans throughout the 9 months. Last week, at our 16 week check up, I totally lost count how many times I have been in this position. My most favorite part of it all, is watching how fascinated and overwhelmed my IP's are. Every time they have this amazing look on their faces and it all just reassures me that my hard work is paying off. As we get closer, and I get bigger, these ultrasounds get longer!! And I don't mean a 45 minute scan here and there. This ultrasound was well over 2 hours. We are to expect them to be at least 3 hours from here on out, some can last all day with breaks!!
But, this day was very special for all of us. We got a sneak peek at the sexes!!!
GIRL... GIRL... GIRL!!!
So, I guessed 2 out of 3. I never imagined 3 girls, and neither did the IP's!! Good thing we were in the ultrasound room for so long because the shock definitely needed time to settle with them. Of course, girls need the cutest, most fluffy, pink, rhinestone everything!! From hair bows to ballet shoes, these girls are gonna have it all. And for those of you who know my IP's, you know they will have more tutu's and designer jeans than your average woman!!
All was well with all 3 babies and they couldn't be healthier. Prior to finding out the sex of my surro babies, I thought about how my emotions would play out throughout the discovery. Did it matter to me what I was carrying? Would I feel different emotions if they were boys or girls? Or would it not even have the slightest effect on me and I would continue on like I hadn't known?
My husband knows me best, as any husband should when it comes to their wife's personal emotions. He knows how much I long for having a baby girl in my life. Some women are satisfied with the children they have. Don't get me wrong. I would NEVER change anything about my 2 boys, ever!! But, something inside me still feels incomplete, like we are still missing something, or somebody. Yeah, people tell me to be happy with what I have and that I am the best mother to boys, but deep down I know I was meant to mother both of my boys and a little girl. Whether I am granted this girl by conception or whether I'm destined to adopt, I don't care. I will have that nursery full of pink, pink, and more pink!!
So, at first my husband and I thought I may have a weird, unnecessary, reaction to carry girls. But, to my surprise it didn't bother me one bit. It makes no difference to me what is inside of me. There was no moment in that day where I felt any sort of jealousy. I think it was the surrogate mother inside of me, telling me that my day will come for a girl and these parents deserve them more than anyone else. I am so fortunate to be able to conceive on my own, and I would give 1,000 girls away to people less fortunate before I would grow my own!
No one really wanted one sex over the other. We all just wanted them to be healthy. All 3 girls were in perfect shape... but, for me, think again!!
To make a HUGE story short, the following morning I was rushed to the ER and had a visit longer than expected. Everyone's first thought- the babies!! Surprisingly, no. I had unbearable chest pains, shortness of breath, and a very high heart rate. I found myself lying in the bed with wires and tubes everywhere. I had blood work done, x-rays, EKG's, oxygen support, etc. I was scared to death!! I was finally stable and admitted to the hospital. The longest 3 days of my life!! Right away doctors diagnosed me with having pneumonia, but something else just did not seem right. My heart rate refused to go down, even with my fever gone. They expected a Pulmonary Embolism, blood clot in the lungs. However, the only way to know for sure is through a CT scan. Safe for the babies? Absolutely not! So, we waited it out and treated my pneumonia and possible PE. I have never been so uncomfortable in my life!! The pain and struggle of the pneumonia was killer, but add triplets to the mix was one horrible experience. All in all, I healed and was released.
That was one experience I never want to go through again, babies or no babies. Not only did I put my loved ones on the edge of their seats with worry, but I also had the baby girls' family concerned for all of our health. I'm doing the best that I can to take care of everyone, but some things are just beyond anyone's control. I have NEVER been so sick in my life and NEVER want to experience that again.
So, here's to a healthy tomorrow and every day until these little girls are born. I know there will be many more bumps in the road, but I just hope we all recover smoothly and to the best of our efforts.
