Saturday, February 20, 2010

All of those FAQ's answered...

Why did you decide to become a surrogate?
This is what I get asked most often.  I really don't have a specific answer.  There was no life threatening experience I had that made me want to go out and become "Super Ashley" or anything.  Nor did I have a close friend or relative that was completely struggling with infertility that it made me want to help in this particular subject.  I am, however, a young woman who has been blessed with the most amazing babies.  Besides having monster-sized boys (my first was 10.3 pounds), I have had perfect pregnancies with very healthy outcomes.  Becoming a mother so easily (we call our oldest our honeymoon baby and our youngest was conceived on our first shot) is a gift that many people take for granted.  Many people struggle for years and years trying to conceive and get nothing.  This is no reason for them not to be able to become parents.  There is a need for good surrogates like myself.  Heck, why don't I do it then!!

So, how much are you getting paid?
Man, is this an awkward question!!  I'm not going to sit here and lie, saying I'm not getting any sort of compensation.  But then if I disclose that I am getting paid, I will get the "are you doing it for the money?"  You can't always win with people.  I don't think there is a price you can put on children.  I'm not saying I would do this whole thing for free, but I don't think it should be a topic of conversation with anyone.  There are so many sacrifices a surrogate has to make; daily injections for months, bedrest, travel, doctors appointments, and the average struggles of being pregnant.  Being a surrogate is a 24/7 job and there is no amount you can put on the whole process.  So, am I getting paid? Yes.  How much are you getting?  Why don't you become a surrogate yourself and find out if you are that concerned!!

How can you give up the baby/babies?
First of all, these aren't my babies.  This is what they call gestational surrogacy.  They use a woman's eggs along with a man's sperm and place it in my body.  The baby/babies have no genetic ties to me whatsoever.  I can't guarantee how I will feel when the time comes to deliver.  I have never done this before and I am prepared for any situation.  I think it is fair to say that I will be a little emotional after they are gone, but what woman, who has a good heart, wouldn't?   

You want to get fat for someone else's baby?
This is a funny one.  There are some very heartless people out there that care so much about their appearance.  I guess these are the ones who are not yet mothers themselves, and should wait a long while until they have children.  Pregnancy is not always as beautiful as people make it seem.  It involves lots of weight gain, skin discoloration, stretch marks, etc.  But I would sacrifice any of that in order to give birth to a child.  Children are worth anything and I think body changes are the least I would do for them.  Who care if I gain 50 pounds in this surrogacy process?  Could you imagine if your wife turned to you and said, "The only reason I don't want to have your baby is because I will get fat, have to revert to tankinis in the summer, and never be able to fit in my old jeans again because my hips have permanently grown!?!"  

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