Prayers and Hope for Linus...

I am so glad that my husband introduced me into this whole blogging thing and encouraged me to share my surrogacy journey with so many people out there.  I love how many people it has introduced me to, how much support I have received, and how many people I was able to help through their struggling time as well.

At the beginning of my pregnancy, I got all sorts of followers who then opened the door for me to follow their journeys as well.  One amazing couple that I was so intrigued with from the very beginning was Robbie and Trina, A Story of Two Moms.  They are 2 amazing women, who also struggled with infertility, but so fortunately gave birth to triplet boys soon after I had the girls.  Their pregnancy was only a few weeks behind mine and I found it really helpful to hear another woman's thoughts and feelings towards a triplet pregnancy.  Although their story wasn't surrogate related, it still gave me the support I needed since triplet pregnancy isn't as popular as your average surrogate pregnancy.

So, why I am writing about this??  Well, one of their little boys, Linus, is not doing well at all and has been struggling since birth.  He is worse off now than ever before.  I won't attempt to explain the entire story because it is very heartbreaking, but if you have the time, read their blog and show your support.  I think about this family quite often and everyday I go to check up on their blog for a new post, I just hold my breath hoping there will be some good news.

It is so amazing how much time and thought I have invested with complete strangers.  Blogging really creates these wonderful relationships that are impossible to part from.  I feel like I know my followers and readers so well and they all are important to me in some way or another.  I will never stop blogging!!

My IP's were the ones who actually "introduced" our blogs to one another.  Their hearts break for them and it honestly is a constant reminder of how fortunate they are to have 3 healthy girls.  Having triplets is a risky thing and you never really know what bad things might happen until they do.  They cannot be thankful enough that the worst thing they are struggling with right now is teething.  We couldn't have had a more perfect outcome.

So, whatever you can do, please do.  If you read their latest post, there are many ways you can show your support.  You can just simply pray (if you are a prayer), donate, spread the word, or even post this cute little button (in the right column) or this picture (below) on your blog.

Thinking of you, Linus!!

Visit with the Triplets! Warning... lots of pics!!!

Yay!!  I went to visit my surro triplets yesterday and I had sooo much fun!!!  I cannot believe how big they are.  Yes, I know, babies do grow and I always make mention at how much they are growing, but these babies are HUGE!!!!  Looking at them, you would never guess they were born at 32 weeks just 6 months ago.  These girls are chunkier than your average sized full term baby.  I LOVE me some chunky babies and it makes me happy to think that I had a lot to do with that =)  Geez, there is some potent stuff in this breast milk of mine!!  I really honestly think I carry around a gold mine with me.  Not only did I have the world's heaviest and healthy boys, but I plumped up 3 preemies all at once.  Go me!!!

My mom and my sister got to share this special moment with me and they fall in love with the girls more and more every visit.  Who wouldn't?!?  Not only do they bond so well with the girls, but they LOVE my IP's.  I am so grateful for how everything played out after the birth of the girls; I have gained a special family which I can share with my own family.  It really is just a crazy, fun time when we all get together.  LOVE it!!!

The girls were quite overwhelmed when we first got there.  Since it is still RSV season, they don't get out much nor have many visitors at home.  I think we are the most entertainment they have so far =)  If you know my family, we aren't the quietest people, so I think we gave the girls a little shock when we came in the house.  It did take them a minute to get comfortable with the extra chaos, but soon enough we all got our hands on them for baby time.

Miss May

My mommy with May

Lily Pies

My sister, Cassie, with Lily

Eve

Me and Eve

May (I think =)

Lily, in a cranky mood from teething =(

Hey chunks!!

Identicals- Eve (top) and May

Lily giving me kisses =)

Making Lily smile

Mom with May

Mom with May, Cassie with Eve, and me with Lily

Saying our good-byes

Good-night, Girls!!

Don't you just love them?!?  Well, we had an awesome visit.  While we were there, my IP's told me that they are going to stay down here in Southern California until at least July!!!  That means this didn't have to be my last visit.  As you can tell, they all are doing great and only growing more and more.  I can't wait to see them again.

6 Months Old!!

Wow, are you kidding me?!?  Has it really been 6 months since I had my surro girls??  I really can't believe that Lily, Eve, and May are already half way to 1 year old!!  Happy 6 months, girls!!!

I get photo updates quite often, but I think it had been a couple weeks since the one before this one.  It had to have been because they look so much different!!  Their hair is really starting to darken and their eyes lighten.  Love it!!!  And don't you love how round and chunky those bellies look??  I'm proud to say that I had a lot to do with that =)

I can't wait to see them on Sunday.  It has been about 3 months since my last visit, so I know I will be so amazed at how much they've changed.  Pictures can only describe so much!! 

Now that I have had months to recover (and well on my way to getting my body back), I've really had a chance to go back on forth whether I am ready for another pregnancy (surrogacy or my own) or not.  I remember shortly after having the triplets, I really felt that baby itch.  Of course the mind has no idea how to react when the body is pregnant with triplets, not taking any home, and then pumping breast milk for months on end without actually breast feeding a baby.  I think my hormones were making me yearn for a baby and replace what my body felt was missing.  I tried so hard to fight my urge to get pregnant again right away, and it was not easy.  Now that I am looking back on the past 6 months, and clearly over the baby itch, I am glad I listened to my mind and not my hormones.  I know I am not physically or emotionally ready to have another baby, whether it is a surrogacy or another one of my own.  And, because I am just doing fantastic on this whole road to my ideal bikini body thing, I really LOVE not being pregnant for once in my life.  I love being able to look cute and comfortable in any and all clothing now.  I love being able to have a glass of wine once in a while and eat sushi anytime I want.  And most of all, I LOVE my daily trips to Starbucks =)  I know how a lot of surrogates feel out there when their journey is over and they feel so anxious to begin another one right away.  But, I want to tell you that these feelings do end and soon enough you will understand that you can't be a surrogate forever.  You need to experience those months of emotions where you feel very alone and unappreciated.  Don't get me wrong; I still think about being a surrogate again all the time and continuously ponder about what my next IP's will be like (if that time does ever come).  But, those emotions are definitely controllable now and I am appreciating the simple things in life in the moment.

So, when do I think I will try for another pregnancy??  Well, we are really planning for only one more baby to complete our family (that's all I can get out of the husband =).  We don't want to wait forever because we would like our kids to be all close in age (our boys are 15 months apart) and we really want to have all our babies before we hit 30 (yes, I still have a few more years in my 20's =).  So, the plan is to try for another baby in 2 years.  And, if anyone has the recipe for making a girl, I would LOVE to hear it!!!  Is that too much to ask after delivering 3 girls for someone else???  We will see!!

After having our third baby, and having a total of 6 kids (wow!!), I am not sure whether I will be a surrogate again or not.  My body is limited on c-sections; I have already had 2, but my OB said I could take 2 more during the delivery of the girls.  But, it all depends on how my next one goes and whether or not that doctor determines if I am physically able to do a total of 4 c-sections or not.  And besides that issue, I have to get my husband on board as well.  He was NOT a fan of what went on when I delivered the girls.  The amount of blood that I was losing in the delivery room and the fact that I really was dying does not settle well with him and those moments gave him the scare of his life (mine too, but in the moment I demanded more drugs so that I didn't have to continue to hear the panicky chaos in the room).  So, as of today, I am not saying whether I will be a surrogate again or not.  I do have several more years of child bearing days ahead of me, so the decision definitely does not need to be made any time soon.  Right now I am really happy with my life as it is today and I am appreciating all of the small things that I may have overlooked in the past few years.