My thoughts on a future surrogacy

As most of you experience after your first or second surrogacy, one question you get asked most is whether you are going to do another surrogacy again.  Some women know right after delivery that they are up to helping a family again as soon as they can.  There are even some who thought the process was altogether emotionally difficult and are happy with just one. Then, there are women like myself who go back and forth so many times and are not sure whether or not another surrogacy is best for them.  I have outweighed so many pros and cons of being a surrogate mother.  In a way I am so satisfied with my one journey and I not only had one baby, but 3!!  On the other hand, I feel some sort of responsibility to someone out there.  Here I am with this amazing gift and if I already succeeded with one surrogate pregnancy, why should I stop myself from helping someone again if I am physically and emotionally able to?  And I do have to take my family's thoughts and opinions into consideration as well.  They are effected by this just as much as anyone and I would not want to become a burden on anyone again.

After over 9 months of the going back and forth game, I have really learned so much about myself and about my decision thanks to some close friends and family.

After being a surrogate, people you know really start to open up and trust you with their infertility issues.  I had no idea how many people I know personally who are having serious problems with getting pregnant.  It breaks my heart to have to sit here and read or listen to the things they are going through while I am on the other end with this professional uterus that can not only have babies of her own so easily, but also have someone else's babies as well.  I know it isn't my fault, but I just feel so guilty.  Why am I so blessed in this area while others are not?  What did I do to deserve this child bearing ability?  Whatever the reason, I am so glad that I took full advantage of it.

I just got done talking with an old best friend of mine, who has had her fair share of struggles, and it just got me thinking about a lot of things.  I also got some very bad news from a VERY close relative of mine and can not stop thinking about what her future will entail.  The list goes on, but these 2 people really hit me hard.  Not only are they so young and beautiful, but they don't deserve this.  No one does.

So, I think I have made my final decision about the future of my surrogacy.  Since I am technically allowed only 2 more pregnancies (putting me at 4 c-sections, which is pushing it especially since one was a triplet pregnancy), that leaves me with a big decision.  I have decided to have one more of my own, leaving me with 3 children.  I know I have gone back and forth whether I wanted to wait or not for another baby, but I think my hormones have settled down and in the next several months my husband and I are going to try one last time =)  I really want our kids to be close in age and my oldest turns 4 in a few weeks, so we need to get on it (literally!!).  After we have our little miracle, my plan is to help a friend or even family member who really deserves it.  That is the biggest dream of mine; being a surrogate for someone close to me and being able to give them a miracle.  There is no guarantee that someone may need my help, but I am putting it out there and let them know that they will always have me to fall back on.  I couldn't imagine helping a complete stranger knowing that I know several women out there that are struggling and just cannot afford surrogacy like most couples.  Besides, wouldn't it just be an AMAZING story to tell?!?

The other option I would consider, but highly doubt will happen, is if the parents of the triplets decided to have another child.  Could you imagine another set of triplets?!?  I have asked them lots of times and I think they are very happy with their 3 girls, but if the slight chance arises, I would never back down from that opportunity.

I have no idea what may happen in the future, but I am just hoping that God has great plans for me.  I know I need to help someone again and I would get no greater satisfaction then doing it for a loved one.  Let's hope that nature does its thing and it does not have to come to this, but if it doesn't, then I pray I will be able to help.  Love all my girls struggling out there... don't give up because it's worth the fight!!