Friday, July 15, 2011

I Feel Loved!

I don't think I express it enough, but my IP's (are they even considered IP's anymore?) are the BEST!!!  I know there are a lot of you out there who think the same thing about yours, but I don't know how much better this couple can get. 

The girls are getting so close to their 1st birthday!!  Oh my goodness, can you believe it?!?  I really cannot believe how fast the past 10 1/2 months went and sometimes I wish we could do it all over again.  Anyway, who doesn't throw a huge 1st birthday party, especially for triplet girls?!  These girls have come a long way and a first birthday is something to celebrate.  It definitely is a big day for all of us; it was the day when my IP's finally became parents after the LONG struggle and it was a day that fulfilled one of my biggest dreams and gave me a whole new perspective on life.  September 2nd is a day to celebrate!!  Well, the reason I feel so loved by my IP's is because of the greatest gesture... they were planning for a birthday party a weekend I was out of town for my sister's bachelorette party.  As bad as I sound, when they told me the date I was really considering going to the triplets party as well as the bachelorette party (probably missing a lot of that)!!  But, then again, only I, or someone like me, would understand how much going to celebrate their birthday means to me.  I didn't have to make much of a decision because my IP's changed the date just for me!!!  When they told me that, I just about wanted to cry. Okay, so it may not seem like a big deal to you, but this couple has so many friends and family all over the country, but they wanted to make sure me and my family were there before anyone. 

I honestly feel so lucky to have them in my life.  I remember during the pregnancy, I had no idea how our relationship was going to be after the birth. It was really awkward to discuss and I really had no idea what their intentions were.  I decided that taking it day by day would be the best, and it worked out perfectly.  We stay in contact often, and I can visit whenever I like.  I definitely respect their space and I know they are super busy, so a couple weeks may go by that I don't hear from them which is totally fine and expected.  But, if I ever feel like I am missing them (by them, I mean the whole family), I shoot them an email and just ask for an update.  They then respond with TONS of pics and updates on the cute and fun things they are doing.  I LOVE it!!

If my IP's are reading this, just know how much I love and appreciate everything you do!!

I know there are some surrogates out there who are not as fortunate and I am so sorry.  I really could not imagine if communication was cut off and I had no idea how and what they were doing.  Yes, Intended Parents have no obligation to maintain an open and ongoing relationship, nor are they responsible for our mental state anymore, but I don't know how any surrogate is just expected to give birth and walk away from a family she created without feeling depressed.  There isn't much that can be done in that situation and I feel so bad for these women =(  If you are an IP out there, just please take everything into consideration before making any decision when it comes to communication with your surrogate.  You truly don't understand how much an ongoing relationship means to us, no matter how big or small it is.  Believe me when I say that a surrogate has no intention of taking the motherly role away from you... we just want that constant reassurance that what we did was worth every minute and every struggle and to feel that everlasting appreciation.


  1. I'm so happy for you! It's amazing that your IPs are so caring and considerate. I understand about feeling awkward when bringing up the subject of a relationship after the baby is born, which is why I wrote in in my blog instead. Thankfully my IM texted me today and reassured me that she considers not only me, but my husband and daughters, family and that she couldn't imagine not having us around after her son is born! I pray it really stays that way, and your story gives me hope.

  2. Ashley, I am so happy to hear how close your two families still are after almost a year. It's hard to think of going through a journey like this and NOT having any sort of contact afterwards. It is truly unexplainable to those who haven't walked in our shoes. Sounds like the triplets have some fantastic parents. =)

  3. That is so awesome that they still value you as part of the girls lives! I just love hearing it!

    And Ip's normally before FIP's *as in former ip's* but I still call my previous ones IP's too :)

  4. That is so great! I can't wait to hear about the party:)

  5. so so awesome of them and I completely agree that a relationship is so important after the baby. I'm so very thankful that I'm so close with my IPs and that they want a good relationship. You said it great, as your blogs! Charity