Sunday, February 21, 2010

More than one bun?!?

This past week has been an event I have been waiting for what seems like forever!!  Looking back at old emails, I have been working with my WONDERFUL agency for an entire year now.  These women that run this amazing group, have become great friends throughout this whole process.  It seems so long ago since our first conversation.  Even though I was their "diamond in the rough" (not to brag or anything), never did they pressure me to jump into something that I was not ready for.  Since beginning working with my first family (one day I will reflect on that process), the days seem to drag on.  Not that this past October is that far behind us, but with all of the medications and anticipation you go through, days feel like weeks.  The beginning stages of the path to surrogacy is not as easy as everyone may think.  Besides putting yourself through pain with at least one injection a day, you are also KILLING your husband who is unable to "touch" you for several weeks!!  Not only have I been causing this suffer to my husband in this manner, but he had to cancel his Super Bowl party because transfer day suddenly moved up (however, the morning of, the embryos weren't quite ready and we had to wait until the following day)!!  The transfer is very time sensitive, so it definitely tests your patience.  

From my first attempt, which failed, I learned a lot and somewhat became accustomed to all of the medications, blood work, vaginal ultrasounds, and bedrest.  I was also prepared for failure.  This time around, we were working with the most amazing egg donor.  She has had so many successes, most resulting in twin births! We had quite a party the moment these little ones were transferred (the doctor placed two).  There was nothing but positive energy in that tiny little room.  We had my husband- who cares more about my health and emotions than anything in the world, my agency- who treats her surrogates as if they were her own sister, the doctor- who is an angel with all of the miracles he performs, the couple- who had so much hope and love for these babies already that you could not stop them from smiling, and myself- who was hoping and praying that I wouldn't have to go through another harsh reality that my body would reject these miracles.

Waiting those LONG 9 days to find out if it was successful is killer!!  After a couple of days, am I feeling sick or is it all in my head?  Did my boobs just grow a whole cup size overnight or did I shrink my bra?  Am I feeling exhausted every minute of the day or has all of this worrying got me stressed?  Okay, so they say not to take a home pregnancy test because of the hormone medication I am on.  It doesn't give accurate results.  But who can resist, especially when your mom works in Labor and Delivery and brings home a life-time supply of tests?!?  So, we cheated more than once.  I will never forget the discussion I had with both Cameron and the intended parents about the visibility of the second line.  "It's there right?"  "Of course, it's there, but it is so light!"  "But if it's there, it's there!!"  Nothing more we could do but just wait...    

I had nothing but good feelings about the blood test.  I didn't feel the same- I must be pregnant.  I went into the doctor to have my blood drawn this past Wednesday.  We only had to wait a few more hours.  Finally, the call came... POSITIVE!!!!  Wow, I had an extremely high hormone level (they look for anything over 40 and mine was 411)!  So that the couple felt assured, I had a repeat test two days later.  Still positive, and this time the level jumped to 941!!!  What?  And what does this mean?  Well, the only answer I got was that there is a high chance of multiples.  Now, that leaves us with another waiting game.  We have to wait for our first ultrasound to know for sure how many "buns" we have, which is scheduled in 2 weeks.  I never imagined myself being able to carry someone else's baby, but to carry more than one is absolutely thrilling!!  Whatever we find out, I'm sure it is meant to be.  That is what I constantly hear throughout this process... Whatever is meant to be will happen. 

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