Thanks for those who gave me tips or words of encouragement about this beauty of a body =) There has been many ups and downs in the past few weeks when it came to me looking in the mirror at what once was carrying 3 babies at one time, and a total of 5 babies in 3 years!! Yes, I am crazy!
I recently got some helpful news, not really good or bad. I have a condition called Diastasis Recti where abdominal separation took place during one of my pregnancies. This explains the round mommy pooch that NEVER goes away after having my babies and why I still look 4 months pregnant at times, especially after heavy activity.
To those plastic surgeons who tell people like myself that this problem will only be fixed with a tummy tuck, screw you!!! I am going to prove you wrong. Although this condition is extremely hard to fix without surgery, there is hope. I am so fortunate enough to have a sister who worked for a personal trainer and private gym owner. She has offered her help to me, free of charge, and really wants to see me succeed. Her specialty... post natal!! She has classes specifically for this issue such as mine and has helped with shocking results. I had a consultation on Monday about my diet. I really needed help with a balance between my calorie intake and maintaining my milk production. She gave me meal by meal instructions and I have already lost 3 pounds!! I am eating soooo healthy and I really feel great!! Don't get me wrong. Those gourmet cupcakes I picked up for Jackson's preschool teacher really gave me the greatest temptation of all time, but I am doing it!! Swimsuit season is just around the corner people!!
So, how will I fix this bulging thing?? Well, that takes specific exercises with a trainer. Sometimes you may think doing a million crunches will help, but it may have a negative effect. I am going to continue doing what she recommends, specific diet and exercise, and I am holding on to that hope that I will be able to fix this little bump in the road!!
Wish me luck!!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Dear linea negra, baby pooch, and whatever else that is not going back...
It would seem that I have so much less on my mind now that the girls are born and I am not in surrogate mode anymore, but I think about my journey every single day and more and more thoughts pop into my head. So, I want to keep sharing them with you all and hopefully I can be of some help to some of you.
The girls are 4 months old as of yesterday!! Can you believe it?? Well, I sure can't. Time is just going by all too quickly. I love seeing them grow and hear about all of the little, but yet huge, things they are doing now. For me, as the time goes by soooo quickly, I'm realizing that the journey I had carrying these 3 beautiful girls is getting further behind me. As hard as that journey was, I wish that I could have it all back just for one day. It was such an awesome experience and I am so lucky to have had this opportunity.
On a more frustrating note, the urge to throw something at my mirror increases each day that my body has yet to cooperate with me!! Some of you remember one of my posts from when I was carrying triplets, Bye Bye Belly. I remember being glued to my computer screen, looking at all of the post triplet belly pics every single day (if you are pregnant with multiples, I would highly NOT recommend this). That scared me to death!!! I couldn't believe how much extra skin women get and as much as they work out and lose weight it NEVER goes away without surgery. But, I accepted the fact that you can't fight the inevitable and tried to not think about the outcome. Much to my surprise, I turned out damn good!!!! I can't tell you if it was the $50 cream I bought and religiously used or what, but I am so thankful I don't have any permanent damage.
I am still not 100% happy with my body. Having had triplets or not, what woman really is?? But, for me, I just want to feel comfortable. I want to look on the outside how I feel on the inside. When I look at the mirror, I look at myself and I know that is not who I am. It has become a struggle and now that this is a new year, I am ready to fix these problems...
The ever so lingering linea negra...
What the heck?? Can this dark line ever go away? When I was pregnant, my preggo line down the middle of my belly was very faint and only appeared towards the end of my pregnancy. But, after I had the girls and my tummy deflated, it seemed as though that line got darker and longer!! I have seen it gradually decrease over the past couple months, but it is definitely still there. I think if that were to find its way out of my life I would feel slightly better about myself. I wouldn't feel as if I am in a permanent state of recovery and my body will forever appear "post baby". Bathing suit season is soon approaching us... I hope Mr. Negra is aware of that.
No, I am NOT pregnant, fool!!!
I know most of you can relate to this. Those weeks following delivery, you are constantly asked, "When are you due?" It is especially difficult for surrogates because we do not have a baby present to kick some common sense into some people. I remember I went out with my youngest son, who was just a couple weeks at that time. Some dumb lady (who, by the way, was a mother herself) asked how far along I was?!? Helllooooo!!! How could I be pregnant when I literally just had a baby!! Some people just don't have a filter, they just let their brains do the talking. I didn't expect my belly to shrink the day or even couple months following the delivery of the triplets. I knew my body had expanded to the max and it was literally impossible to have a flat tummy shortly after I had the girls. So, when people asked if I was pregnant and so on, I let them know VERY proudly that I just had triplets. I got some, "Oh, I'm sorry. You look great for just having triplets!!" And I did think I looked great for just having 3 babies. But, now that it has been 4 months I'm wondering when this is all going to stop??!!
I can see that my little baby pooch is slowly shrinking. And I mean SLOWLY!!! After I had Max, my second son, I went to see a plastic surgeon (just being curious) about my pooch because it really wasn't doing what it was supposed to be doing by my standards. I was informed that I had abnormally big, strong stomach muscles that had the ability to stretch more than the average woman (one of the reasons why I had such a successful triplet pregnancy). Because the muscles had the ability to strengthen so much while being pregnant, shrinking after pregnancy was going to take some time. I remember when my youngest son turned 1 year old is when I actually began to feel satisfied and my belly actually was flat again. A year?!????!! Well, I guess that is better than nothing.
I don't get asked much anymore if I am pregnant or when I am due or anything. But, I do run into some idiot every now and then. I can't use the "I just had triplets" thing anymore, so I just tell them no and make them feel stupid. Sometimes I wonder how many people they ask that and are wrong. To me, I don't look entirely pregnant, more just really bloated. One of the biggest rules to all of you out there... don't ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you are 100% positive!!!!
Dieting, impossible!!
I am just dying to diet!! But, the moment that I try to limit my intake, my breast milk disappears. It is the hardest thing to find that balance. The fact is, the more you eat, the more milk you get. So, something had to give. In order for me to reach my 6 month goal, or even longer, I have to keep up my calorie intake. If I wasn't pumping, things would be much different. But, the girls need me =)
Back to the gym...
Now that recovering is far behind me and I have settled down in my new city lifestyle, I hit the gym!! I really was surprised about how much energy I had. I thought I was going to be an absolute mess my first couple weeks, but I think I did pretty good!! Yesterday, I ran 10 minutes straight on the treadmill!! That may not be a lot to some of you, but that is just incredible to me. I really want to keep it up and lose those extra pounds that I gained during all of those hormone injection days (I think I gained 15 pounds before I actually got pregnant). And, I have to say, going to the gym makes me feel so great about myself. As much as I have to drag myself there, I am completely satisfied when I walk out!!! The hardest part is motivating yourself, but you can do it!!!
So, now that the girls are 4 months old, I have 2 months before I wish to see that dramatic change in my appearance. I have to keep focused and reach for that goal. On March 2nd, when the girls turn 6 months old, I promise to post pics of the body, changed or not. Hopefully everyone will all be pleasantly surprised!! Bikini here I come (ok, I may have to settle for a tankini!!).
The girls are 4 months old as of yesterday!! Can you believe it?? Well, I sure can't. Time is just going by all too quickly. I love seeing them grow and hear about all of the little, but yet huge, things they are doing now. For me, as the time goes by soooo quickly, I'm realizing that the journey I had carrying these 3 beautiful girls is getting further behind me. As hard as that journey was, I wish that I could have it all back just for one day. It was such an awesome experience and I am so lucky to have had this opportunity.
Lily, May, and Eve
On a more frustrating note, the urge to throw something at my mirror increases each day that my body has yet to cooperate with me!! Some of you remember one of my posts from when I was carrying triplets, Bye Bye Belly. I remember being glued to my computer screen, looking at all of the post triplet belly pics every single day (if you are pregnant with multiples, I would highly NOT recommend this). That scared me to death!!! I couldn't believe how much extra skin women get and as much as they work out and lose weight it NEVER goes away without surgery. But, I accepted the fact that you can't fight the inevitable and tried to not think about the outcome. Much to my surprise, I turned out damn good!!!! I can't tell you if it was the $50 cream I bought and religiously used or what, but I am so thankful I don't have any permanent damage.
I am still not 100% happy with my body. Having had triplets or not, what woman really is?? But, for me, I just want to feel comfortable. I want to look on the outside how I feel on the inside. When I look at the mirror, I look at myself and I know that is not who I am. It has become a struggle and now that this is a new year, I am ready to fix these problems...
The ever so lingering linea negra...
What the heck?? Can this dark line ever go away? When I was pregnant, my preggo line down the middle of my belly was very faint and only appeared towards the end of my pregnancy. But, after I had the girls and my tummy deflated, it seemed as though that line got darker and longer!! I have seen it gradually decrease over the past couple months, but it is definitely still there. I think if that were to find its way out of my life I would feel slightly better about myself. I wouldn't feel as if I am in a permanent state of recovery and my body will forever appear "post baby". Bathing suit season is soon approaching us... I hope Mr. Negra is aware of that.
No, I am NOT pregnant, fool!!!
I know most of you can relate to this. Those weeks following delivery, you are constantly asked, "When are you due?" It is especially difficult for surrogates because we do not have a baby present to kick some common sense into some people. I remember I went out with my youngest son, who was just a couple weeks at that time. Some dumb lady (who, by the way, was a mother herself) asked how far along I was?!? Helllooooo!!! How could I be pregnant when I literally just had a baby!! Some people just don't have a filter, they just let their brains do the talking. I didn't expect my belly to shrink the day or even couple months following the delivery of the triplets. I knew my body had expanded to the max and it was literally impossible to have a flat tummy shortly after I had the girls. So, when people asked if I was pregnant and so on, I let them know VERY proudly that I just had triplets. I got some, "Oh, I'm sorry. You look great for just having triplets!!" And I did think I looked great for just having 3 babies. But, now that it has been 4 months I'm wondering when this is all going to stop??!!
I can see that my little baby pooch is slowly shrinking. And I mean SLOWLY!!! After I had Max, my second son, I went to see a plastic surgeon (just being curious) about my pooch because it really wasn't doing what it was supposed to be doing by my standards. I was informed that I had abnormally big, strong stomach muscles that had the ability to stretch more than the average woman (one of the reasons why I had such a successful triplet pregnancy). Because the muscles had the ability to strengthen so much while being pregnant, shrinking after pregnancy was going to take some time. I remember when my youngest son turned 1 year old is when I actually began to feel satisfied and my belly actually was flat again. A year?!????!! Well, I guess that is better than nothing.
I don't get asked much anymore if I am pregnant or when I am due or anything. But, I do run into some idiot every now and then. I can't use the "I just had triplets" thing anymore, so I just tell them no and make them feel stupid. Sometimes I wonder how many people they ask that and are wrong. To me, I don't look entirely pregnant, more just really bloated. One of the biggest rules to all of you out there... don't ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you are 100% positive!!!!
Dieting, impossible!!
I am just dying to diet!! But, the moment that I try to limit my intake, my breast milk disappears. It is the hardest thing to find that balance. The fact is, the more you eat, the more milk you get. So, something had to give. In order for me to reach my 6 month goal, or even longer, I have to keep up my calorie intake. If I wasn't pumping, things would be much different. But, the girls need me =)
Back to the gym...
Now that recovering is far behind me and I have settled down in my new city lifestyle, I hit the gym!! I really was surprised about how much energy I had. I thought I was going to be an absolute mess my first couple weeks, but I think I did pretty good!! Yesterday, I ran 10 minutes straight on the treadmill!! That may not be a lot to some of you, but that is just incredible to me. I really want to keep it up and lose those extra pounds that I gained during all of those hormone injection days (I think I gained 15 pounds before I actually got pregnant). And, I have to say, going to the gym makes me feel so great about myself. As much as I have to drag myself there, I am completely satisfied when I walk out!!! The hardest part is motivating yourself, but you can do it!!!
So, now that the girls are 4 months old, I have 2 months before I wish to see that dramatic change in my appearance. I have to keep focused and reach for that goal. On March 2nd, when the girls turn 6 months old, I promise to post pics of the body, changed or not. Hopefully everyone will all be pleasantly surprised!! Bikini here I come (ok, I may have to settle for a tankini!!).
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
My Family!!!
Again, nothing to do with surrogacy, but I just really LOVE my little family =) After the holidays, it really makes me know how blessed I really am. We had a very interesting year to say the least. I am just wondering what 2011 will bring us. Maybe we will have a very relaxing one, but who knows?!? We could be preparing for baby #3 or surrogate baby #4!!! We will just have to see.
I do have a couple HUGE projects up my sleeve that I can't wait to share with all of you... and yes, it has everything to do with surrogacy!!
I do have a couple HUGE projects up my sleeve that I can't wait to share with all of you... and yes, it has everything to do with surrogacy!!
Oh, and our Santa pics just keep getting more interesting every year!!
Max almost had a stroke when he saw Santa... this is the best we could do.
He had no idea Santa was behind him!!
And my BIG surprise was VERY big!!! My husband gave me a brand new car!!
Wow!!! This was one awesome gift =)
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
A Very Merry Visit!
If you live in Southern California you know how bad this weather has been this past week. No, we aren't knee deep in snow or experiencing tornados or anything like that, but for us year round sunbathers, this rain is out of control!!!
No matter the weather, it didn't stop me from visiting the girls so I could give them their Christmas gifts that I have been working on for forever!!
They have grown so much and continue to surprise me. It had been a month since my last visit and they were completely different babies to me. They are eating twice as much, growing out of newborn clothing, in size 2 diapers, making eye contact, pushing their heads up off of the floor, cooing, and lots of smiling!! They are very healthy and happy girls =)
No matter the weather, it didn't stop me from visiting the girls so I could give them their Christmas gifts that I have been working on for forever!!
They have grown so much and continue to surprise me. It had been a month since my last visit and they were completely different babies to me. They are eating twice as much, growing out of newborn clothing, in size 2 diapers, making eye contact, pushing their heads up off of the floor, cooing, and lots of smiling!! They are very healthy and happy girls =)
Lily, Eve, May
Wearing the outfits I got for them
My momma had these bows made for them... And I am loving Eve's grin here
May was just so happy!!
Tummy time... LOVE baby booties!!
Lily fell asleep in my arms ♥
So, I have been working on these photo books for the girls even before they were born. There are over 40 pages detailing the pregnancy, delivery, and couple months after their birth. I have so many photos of my growing belly and lots of memories of the pregnancy (all positive ones!!). Of course I made one for each of them... and one for myself!!
The girls' parents were overwhelmed with joy when they received this gift. Lots of tears of joy!! It is something that we can all cherish forever. I know I am going to be apart of their lives for a very long time, but it is just amazing for them to always have something to remember me by. Merry Christmas, girls!!
Well, it is almost Christmas and my boys couldn't be more excited. Holidays are really starting to get fun with them... they are impatiently anticipating Santa's arrival and they were so interested in our rituals as we celebrated Hanukkah. Yes, we celebrate Christmakkah!! We have yet to go visit Santa. I'm not sure why parents subject their children to this torture. Last years visit was hysterical...
I'm thinking this year they will be better... can't get much worse than this!!
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday. I hear I am getting something pretty BIG, so I can't wait to see what my husband has done this time... he's the best =)
Merry Christmas!!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Christmas Tree Memories...
My Christmas tree is full of ornaments, all with special meanings. We are not the type to put up tons of bows and bulbs, so our tree may look bare to some people. But, as our family and children grow, we will gradually add more ornaments. We have cute ones hanging; a preggo girl with "2007" on the belly from when I was pregnant with Jackson during that Christmas, framed photos of the boys' first Christmas, a wedding cake with our date on it, family group with our names on hats for every year that our family grew, a school boy for Jack's first year of school, etc. This year I added a very special one... 3 peas in a pod for my surro girls!! They will always be apart of our family and they get to have their own special ornament on our tree every year =)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Dairy Fairy!!
Yes, I am still pumping!!
The girls are 3 1/2 months old now and still enjoying every drop I can supply. I never thought I could continue this long, but I guess I have just become accustomed to it. Not every surrogate donates their milk to their IP's and I think more often then not, the intended parents are not interested. I think it is a very interesting subject. Some people look at breast milk as the ultimate nourishment that is necessary for their baby/babies no matter where it comes from. And then there are other people who find it absolutely appalling to give their newborn another woman's breast milk. I'm not sure how I would feel if I was in this predicament. Yes, the nutrients you get in breast milk is so important for growth and development, but, at the same time, I think I would feel an extreme sense of jealousy. It would be a very hard reality to face and I think that is why many couples refuse the donation. But, that just makes those couples that do appreciate the milk that much stronger and at peace with their infertility or inability to naturally conceive.
People keep telling me how amazing I am for my dedication. Don't get me wrong; sometimes it isn't so easy. I try my best not to let this "job" of mine get in the way of my day. I am able to find time to pump 3-4 times a day, but it is definitely a hassle when I am away from home for long periods of time. Most of the time I can handle those days where I am away from home up to 5 hours or so. I try to ignore that painful "letdown" women get when it is time!! What does this "letdown" feel like? Well, to put it as best I can- imagine a million needles stabbing your boobs all at once while your nipples freeze up making any sort of movement feel like they are going to rip off. Painful? Yes, but it doesn't last too long. And then there are the noises that makes it all worse... from babies crying to dogs barking, any loud sudden noises just kills me!!! I can't believe how mother nature works. Boobies have a mind of their own and prepare for nursing all on their own.
But, when nature calls and I have no choice but to pump, I do the best I can. I was in shock when I found that Disneyland had a pumping room for women!!! My husband and I took the boys last week and I really wanted to stay longer than we usually do. Our trips to places are usually cut short because of me needing to empty myself, so I didn't want this to be the case this time around. I brought a manual pump and planned to sit somewhere, or anywhere, with a little bit of privacy. Much to my surprise, inside of the Mother's Room, there is not only a nursing room but a pumping area as well!! What will they think of next?? I'm glad the fortune I spend each time I go is being put to something that is useful to me!!
There isn't much privacy in my house anymore, now that my tatas are out all day long!! In the beginning, I was really worried what my boys would think. Jackson was too young to remember when I nursed Max and neither of them have seen a woman breast feed a baby. As funny as it sounds, they were fascinated!! They did have this look like, "What in the world are you doing??", but I explained it to them as best as I could. Now, they have become just as accustomed to it as I have and they really don't notice it much more. However, they have yet to catch on that this is personal business!! Jackson loves to just randomly bring up to perfect strangers that I have milk in my boobs!! It can be quite embarrassing to say the least =)
So, is my breast milk making an impact? Well, see for yourself!! These girls are growing so fast and are becoming quite the chunky monkeys. I am officially convinced that I have an abnormal percentage of fat in my breast milk. The girls are growing at the same rate as my boys did when they were breast fed. My stuff is potent!!
How much longer am I going to pump for? Well, my goal in the beginning was to give them milk until they were 6 months old. I am pretty sure I will reach that goal. There is a possibility I may go longer, but there are no guarantees. As for my IP's, they will take it for as long as I will give.
I will have another big update soon... I get to visit the girls again on Sunday and I have something really special for them!!!
The girls are 3 1/2 months old now and still enjoying every drop I can supply. I never thought I could continue this long, but I guess I have just become accustomed to it. Not every surrogate donates their milk to their IP's and I think more often then not, the intended parents are not interested. I think it is a very interesting subject. Some people look at breast milk as the ultimate nourishment that is necessary for their baby/babies no matter where it comes from. And then there are other people who find it absolutely appalling to give their newborn another woman's breast milk. I'm not sure how I would feel if I was in this predicament. Yes, the nutrients you get in breast milk is so important for growth and development, but, at the same time, I think I would feel an extreme sense of jealousy. It would be a very hard reality to face and I think that is why many couples refuse the donation. But, that just makes those couples that do appreciate the milk that much stronger and at peace with their infertility or inability to naturally conceive.
People keep telling me how amazing I am for my dedication. Don't get me wrong; sometimes it isn't so easy. I try my best not to let this "job" of mine get in the way of my day. I am able to find time to pump 3-4 times a day, but it is definitely a hassle when I am away from home for long periods of time. Most of the time I can handle those days where I am away from home up to 5 hours or so. I try to ignore that painful "letdown" women get when it is time!! What does this "letdown" feel like? Well, to put it as best I can- imagine a million needles stabbing your boobs all at once while your nipples freeze up making any sort of movement feel like they are going to rip off. Painful? Yes, but it doesn't last too long. And then there are the noises that makes it all worse... from babies crying to dogs barking, any loud sudden noises just kills me!!! I can't believe how mother nature works. Boobies have a mind of their own and prepare for nursing all on their own.
But, when nature calls and I have no choice but to pump, I do the best I can. I was in shock when I found that Disneyland had a pumping room for women!!! My husband and I took the boys last week and I really wanted to stay longer than we usually do. Our trips to places are usually cut short because of me needing to empty myself, so I didn't want this to be the case this time around. I brought a manual pump and planned to sit somewhere, or anywhere, with a little bit of privacy. Much to my surprise, inside of the Mother's Room, there is not only a nursing room but a pumping area as well!! What will they think of next?? I'm glad the fortune I spend each time I go is being put to something that is useful to me!!
There isn't much privacy in my house anymore, now that my tatas are out all day long!! In the beginning, I was really worried what my boys would think. Jackson was too young to remember when I nursed Max and neither of them have seen a woman breast feed a baby. As funny as it sounds, they were fascinated!! They did have this look like, "What in the world are you doing??", but I explained it to them as best as I could. Now, they have become just as accustomed to it as I have and they really don't notice it much more. However, they have yet to catch on that this is personal business!! Jackson loves to just randomly bring up to perfect strangers that I have milk in my boobs!! It can be quite embarrassing to say the least =)
So, is my breast milk making an impact? Well, see for yourself!! These girls are growing so fast and are becoming quite the chunky monkeys. I am officially convinced that I have an abnormal percentage of fat in my breast milk. The girls are growing at the same rate as my boys did when they were breast fed. My stuff is potent!!
Lily, May, and Eve
How much longer am I going to pump for? Well, my goal in the beginning was to give them milk until they were 6 months old. I am pretty sure I will reach that goal. There is a possibility I may go longer, but there are no guarantees. As for my IP's, they will take it for as long as I will give.
I will have another big update soon... I get to visit the girls again on Sunday and I have something really special for them!!!
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Just Some Pics...
Wow, ever since I gave birth to the girls I feel like my life is overloaded!!! Mixing moving, holidays, and having a 3 and a 2 year old really is challenging. But it is nothing I can't handle =) I have so many things on my mind to blog about, from my "beautiful" body to the joys of pumping (yes, still) to the identity of my IP's, but I will get around to it someday, promise!!
In the meantime, I am leaving you with some photos. Let me just tell you how much they are growing. Well, see for yourself!!! They just turned 3 months old just a few days ago. I'm not sure exactly how much they weigh but I am pretty sure Lily (in pink) is around 11 1/2 pounds. And Eve (in purple) is trailing right behind her. May (in white), who was the smallest of the 3, is around 10 pounds!! It's so funny because once I report on how much they weigh, the next time I hear from the IP's I learn they have grown another pound or 2!! I think I have the worlds fattiest breast milk, which I will address on one of my next posts!!
In the meantime, I am leaving you with some photos. Let me just tell you how much they are growing. Well, see for yourself!!! They just turned 3 months old just a few days ago. I'm not sure exactly how much they weigh but I am pretty sure Lily (in pink) is around 11 1/2 pounds. And Eve (in purple) is trailing right behind her. May (in white), who was the smallest of the 3, is around 10 pounds!! It's so funny because once I report on how much they weigh, the next time I hear from the IP's I learn they have grown another pound or 2!! I think I have the worlds fattiest breast milk, which I will address on one of my next posts!!
Lily, May, and Eve
Identicals: May and Eve
Lily
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